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Okay, so you guys dont really know me yet, but I really want some help with some things going on right now.

 

Issue 1: Okay, so I have this friend named..... we shall call her Nat...... and she goes out with this guyed named.... erm, we'll call him Ty...... Im friends with both of them. I've known Ty since, like, 4th-ish grade. I met Nat last year, and we've been pretty close since. Well, I was at Nat's house the other day and her friend Trey called her and told her to meet him at the gas station. I, of course, was dragged along with her. She has always had a thing for Trey and Trey has always liked her. We got there and they were very close/flirty with eachother. They ended up making out. Me and Nat began to walk home and I asked if she was going to break up with Ty for Trey. She said she wouldnt and if I said anything to Ty not to ever say anything to her again. I said he's going to end up figuring out that she's cheating on him, and she said he wont because he's grounded. I havent said anything to Ty, and I feel really bad. He's like my brother! And she's going around like everything's is the same.... I hate to think it, but Nat is starting to seem like a slut to me. I know the RIGHT thing to do is to say something to Ty, but Nat is my friend and I would hate to break my promise. Any advice?

 

Issue 2: I go out with this guy.... He has always been bad and stuff, and I shoulda figured that he wasnt going to change because of me. Last Wednesday, he got suspended from school. I heard he is actually getting KICKED OUT, and I think he's been grounded from the phone and computer because he hasnt called me. But tonight, he called me and told me he will be back in school April 6th. Which is good, but Im just so... confused! My grades are beginging to slip because of me worrying about him getting in trouble all the time, and this past week or so without knowing if he was getting kicked out of school have caused me to do more crying then ever. As I type this, my fingers are shaking so badly!! I dont know what to do. I dont want to worry about him and let my grades slip, but I dont want to loose him either!

 

If anyone has any ideas, PLEASE help me! Like the title says, Im so confused!!!

 
1: That's a toughy because you care for them both. I generally try to stick out of these things because I usually make them worse but I think he deserves to know. Is there anyway you can hint it without this other girl knowing? And if she finds out, what kind of friend does something bad to another one of your close friends and expects you to keep hush hush? It makes me wonder what her character as a person is if she messes around with other guys and if she's worth keeping around to begin with.

2: You can't change people like that. They have to do it themselves and I know this because time and time again I see my friends go through this. "O well i can changez him if i date him" -- no you can't. It's not in your power and if anything you will more likely pulled down, not up.

This bad dude isn't going to change if you just stay with him. Maybe if he realizes he looses the ones he cares for because of his bad behavior he'll shape up but it sounds to me that he just has to grow up.

You don't want to be around that kind of guy. Take my word for it -- I've seen it happen.

 
Well, tw/p pretty much said it all.

I probably wouldn't tell Ty, but, I'd be very tempted to and it might slip out somehow. Of course, your decision. Do what you think will turn out the best for everyone. I'd also have abit of a longer talk with Nat.

You cant change people. You can have a chat to them, and say your opinions. But you cant change the person themselves. If this guy cares for you, and you prove our point, he might change. You never know. Just dont be worried. He'll take care of himself ;]

Not much advice, sorry x_x

 
tamaw/pants, 1. Thats something I've really been thinking about also. I dont really think I want to be associated with Nat at this time. If she did that with Trey in front of me, who knows who she's been with and what she's done with them without me around. I just think Im going to tell Ty. He's not stupid and probably figure it out anyways. Plus, when and if he figures it out, he will be mad at me for not telling him if I dont. I would rather lose Nat then Ty.

2. I feel really stupid. I KNEW this kind of thing would happen when I first started dating him. But instead, I had to be stubborn and think he would actually try and stay out of trouble. I dont want to change him, but its not that hard to stay out of trouble for a week (which is something he has NEVER been able to do!) And another thing is that I have always been a pretty good student. I mean, I've had my share of detentions and referels, but he makes it look effortless to get suspended! I dont want to surround myself with bad influnces, but I do care for him.....

 

 

x.Cant//Knit.x, Thats a good point. He's old enough to take care of himself, and if this is what he wants to do, then he can get kicked out if thats his goal. Im done trying to keep him out of trouble. I just dont think he's worth all this. But Im just not sure yet.... (God, I sound lie such a rollercoaster! Im not usually this confusing and emotional lol!) And you had good advice guys =]

 
1) Tough situation, but from my standpoint, I don't think it's your place to tell him. I know you're friends but it will be 100% worse coming from you. It'll make him feel in the dark, like he was the only person not to know. If I were you, I'd convince her to tell him. You say she's your friend, talk to her. Sit down and have a one on one. But if I was him, I wouldn't want the best friend of my girlfriend telling me she was cheating. This is between him and her.

2) It's going to sound harsh, but ditch him! He's not worth your time. I've tried to change boys like that, it's not worth the pain, trust me.

 
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