Problems

[Wine_Deer]

Well, one of my really close best friends, lets call her J, is really great. I love her and I love hanging out with her and talking to her.

But.

She hangs out with a lot of people, and I usually am by myself. It seems like everyone likes her more than me or some people like her but don't like me. I'm not saying it's a big problem, but sometimes I get jealous of her and act like a jerk because she's always doing fun stuff, and people always wanna hang out with her. She's friends with a lot of guys, but I'm only friends with like, a couple. A lot of her guy friends actually dislike me a lot, even though I've never been mean to them.

She has problems in her life with family and with a couple friends and she's sorta self conscious, and I try helping her through that (she helps me through my problems too) so I'm not saying that her life is perfect but it's kinda hard hanging out with her or texting her when she's always hanging out with people I wish I could be friends with (but they ignore me) and it kinda seems like she outshines me with everything. She has a ton more friends than me, she's way prettier than me, she's just better than me and I'm only better than her at school (usually). I know school's important but, I feel kinda.... not good when she says she's hanging out with (insert person that hates me but I wanna get to know them here) and stuff.

She doesn't brag or anything though.

Please don't see me as a jerk or something, I didn't really know how to put this

Basically, I'm really jealous of ma best friend and it sometimes makes me act like a huge jerk and I hate that I do that.

Help?

---Wine_Deer

 

[RawryCakes.x]

Well, have you ever tried talking to J about these things? You could tell J how you feel, and just see what happens.

 

[Wine_Deer]

I'm sort of embarrassed too. Plus I'm afraid it's going to break out into a fight or things will become awkward between us.

We've had fights about similar things before. It's kind of a sensitive subject with us.

 

[.:Monster:.:Trucks:.]

Well I dont really think its her fault that shes popular. Maybe you could talk to her friends about why they dislike you....?

 

[TamaMum]

The way I understand this is that you have a best friend and you both get on really well. You should focus on the good points of the friendship.

Don't get jealous because she has other friends who are not interested in you.

Remember a true friend is not "owned".

She is not a "possession" you can show off to others in recess about.

She's obviously a nice person and lots of people get on with her.

Doesn't that show you that you have made a good choice for a friend?

Can you see how acting jealous could make her uncomfortable spending all her time with you and actually encourage her to spend more time with other friends?

As long as you are a good friend to her it sounds like she is the kind of person who will want to remain a good friend to you. Try to avoid making too many demands on her.

If you focus on having fun with her and being a good friend she might just want to spend more time with you and less time with others.

If you get down and "needy" or "attention seeking" with her... well, I guess you can understand that not so many folks enjoy that kind of company ^_^

It's really up to you to think and act more positive about the good friendship you have - rather than wanting more right now. Things may change and get even better but confrontation is probably not a good idea at the moment.

 

[-Tamacandy]

^ Agreed.

I can understand where your coming from,.

I haven't experienced it myself, but a know a girl in a similar position.

All I can say is act really nice to her friends

and make friends with everyone in your classes.

Therefore, when shes hanging out with her other friends

you'll also have someone to hang with.

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