Rate the Joke Above You.

[Ripcurl]

Simple. Just rate the joke above you and put one of your own. (Well, it doesn't have to be yours exactly.) Just put one that you actually think is funny. It can be any joke you want. Have fun.

This one's kinda lame, but it made me laugh.

Your momma is so fat she fell over Target, landed on Walmart and lowered all the prices. XD

 

[mimigotchi10]

1O/1O LOL

Where did Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head go on their trip to Europe?

Buckingyam Palace! XDDDDDDD

 

[.:VeganCheeseBurgerFTW:.]

3|10 Barely makes sense + yams aren't potatoes.

Why was the test tube baby happy?

Because it had a womb with a view.

 

[mimigotchi10]

3|10 Barely makes sense + yams aren't potatoes.
Why was the test tube baby happy?

Because it had a womb[/b] with a view.

Well, yams are also know as sweet potatoes, so HA! And I rate yours 2/10.

 

There was this room and in the room there was a magic mirror.

 

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

 

One day a brunette walked into this room. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

 

The next day a redhead walked into the room. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

 

Then the next day a blond walked into the room. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

 

[Ripcurl]

5/10

What do you call a blond who dies her hair brunette?

Artificial intelligence. XD

 

[.:VeganCheeseBurgerFTW:.]

Well, yams are also know as sweet potatoes, so HA! And I rate yours 2/10.

Dude. Sweet potatoes are kumara. Yams are a completely different veggie.

2|10 I don't much like blonde jokes.

Yo mamma so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out her basement window.

 

[Ripcurl]

lol 9/10

Yo momma so ugly, she looked out the widow at a police officer while driving and got arrested for mooning. XD

 

[mimigotchi10]

8/10

When they were handing out looks, you thought they said books and you said "I want a scary one!"

 

[luvmytamas]

10//10 made me laugh

Your mom put on her robe and wizard hat

LOLOL no one may get this but it's funny just search robe and wizard hat: BE AWARE MIND MAY BE POISONED!!

 

[x.P O K E R F A C E]

2/10.

A man walked into a bar.

That's all.

 

[mimigotchi10]

2/10.

A blonde was sitting on an airplane next to a lawyer, trying to get some sleep. The lawyer, wanting to have some fun, asked to play a game. "I ask a question, and If you get it wrong, you pay me 5$." The blonde said no, and dozed off. "Ok, if I get your question wrong, I pay you 500$!" That made the blonde play. "Ok, what is the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde reached into her purse and handed him a 5 dollar bill. Then the blonde said "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down with four?" The lawyer opened his laptop and searched the question. Nothing. He searched the Library of Congress. Nothing. He emailed all his friends and co-workers. Nothing. Over an hour later, he woke up the blonde and handed her 500$. Then, the lawyer asked, "What was the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him another $5.

WAIT! I get your joke now! He walked into a metal bar! (Still 2/10, though)

 

[Kickthekan123]

1/10 I don't get it

"A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.

The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it a) Robin Sparrow c) Cuckoo or d) Thrush?"

"I think I know it..but I'm not 100%... No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.

Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?

Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."

(ringing)

Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."

Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to get a million dollars. The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question. There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."

Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:

a) Robin Sparrow c) Cuckoo or d) Thrush?"

Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."

Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)

Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"

Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with c) Cuckoo."

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Barbara: "It is."

Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."

That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?

Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock." XD

 

[Ripcurl]

10/10 Long, but very funny!

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.

"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"

"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."

"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

I found this one really funny! XD

 

[.:Charm:.]

10/10 I saw a fake video of a dumb blonde stuck in a car on Youtube. That kinda reminded me of that...

My friend made this one up:

Your momma so fat that she fell off Earth and almost got sucked into a black hole! But don't worry, she didn't get sucked into the black hole becasue she wouldn't fit.

 

[mimigotchi10]

10/10 lol

A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells on the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter.

"I'm here for the paint job," she said.

"Alright," said the man. "Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house."

The blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coating.

After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, "I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn't a porsche out back. It's a new ferarri.

 

[*CjPirate*]

Why does every some jokes have a blonde in it :l Whatever.

9/10

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow her tonsils got sunburned

 

[RawryCakes.x]

7//10

What smells like carrots and is invisible?

Answer: Rabbit fart.

 

[mimigotchi10]

HAHA 9/10

Yo momma's so fat,she chases busses down the street and yells out "CATCH THAT TWINKIE!"

 

[RawryCakes.x]

8//10

Q: Why do birds fly South?

A: Because it's too far to walk.

 

[Dreamer.x]

8/10.

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.