Runaway

[TAMAGIRL2008]

I kind of wanted to write a story. I've started it on a Word Document but some of this will be completely off the top of my head. This is the beginning of a is about a girl who wants to see a place that she read in a book. Her family upset her so she finally....well, I'll let you read it.

Runaway ~ Chapter 1.

My finger gently slipped under the crisp, white pages of the book. A tear rolled down my cheek and lightly dropped onto the page. How many times had I read this book? How many times had I opened the book only to cry once again?

I didn't know.

All I knew was that this was the place I wanted to go. A place that would maybe understand me. A place that would maybe accept me. But all I could do was dream about it. Just think, hope, wish and pray. And that was it.

I sat there and watched as the waves smashed the shore over and over, as the seagulls swooped over me, as the water hit the rocks. I couldn't leave this place. But then again, maybe I could.

I stared down at the book again and then slammed it shut. I stood up and glanced round again at the footsteps that were fading in the sand.

I pushed my brown hair from my eyes and began walking up the beach to the stony path that would lead me home. I looked at the trees that were eerily hanging over the top of me and that made me feel like something was behind me, just watching me, waiting to pounce. It was just about getting dark. The book felt heavy against my chest so I wasn't able to run. I just carried on. Trying not to scream, trying not to cry. I finally reached the white house and walked up the gravel to the blue door. Was I ready to face my brother again? I didn't think so. My brother always teased me and hurt me alot. It was almost pushing me out of the family, making me feel like I didn't exist. Like I didn't matter. I was beginning to think that I couldn't take it any longer.

I was about to turn the handle but something pounced on me before I could. My feeling was right. I had been watched. I dropped the book and screamed my loudest. I thrashed about but the tight grip had me caught. I couldn't go anywhere.

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So that's Chapter 1. As I said, most of this was off the top of my head so advice, comments, praise is all accepted so that I can edit it. I'll probably save it to the Word Document later because I'm not on the right computer. I'll set to work on Chapter 2 and post it soon ok?

Tell me what you think!

 

[White_Roses2]

Wow, that is really REALLY well written. Only two things:

'My brother always teased me and hurt me alot.' and 'I thrashed about but the tight grip had me caught.'

These parts don't quite seem to fit in with the rest of the writing

Maybe something more like 'My brother had always abused me, and it hurt.' or 'I tried to escape, thrashing in the tight grip, but I was caught.'

 

[TAMAGIRL2008]

Thanks so much White_Roses2! I'll take into account what you said and edit Chapter 1 when I have the time.

Well, here it is! Chapter 2! Enjoy.....

Runaway ~ Chapter 2

I screamed louder and louder. My throat was aching but I kept on screaming, hoping that maybe, just maybe, somebody would hear me.

“Callie, Callie! Calm…ouch, you kicked me, Callie! Calm down, it’s me! Oh for goodness sake!”

I felt a sharp hand whip against my cheek. My cheek began to burn and I could feel it going bright red. I stopped thrashing and looked up. It was Mark. My brother. I raised my hand and rested it on my cheek, trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in my eyes. Ever since my parents died in the fire, Mark has been my carer. Ever since my parents died, life hasn’t been easy.

“W…What are…what are you doing?” I stuttered.

“You’re late,” He said.

“How am I late? You didn’t say a…” I began, but I didn’t get any further before his hand met my other cheek. My whole face was burning with pain, making tears fall down it uncontrollably.

“Don’t answer back Callie,” He said softly.

“I…” But I muffled my voice. Trying to explain was not the best idea.

I shoved me so I tripped through the door. I picked myself up quickly and ran up the cream stairs to my room. I slammed the door, making sure I had locked it behind me, and sat on my bed. My walls were dark blue and I had a single bed to the left with an oak bedside table and a wardrobe on the other side of the room. The pain was dying down now but my cheeks were still bright red. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get away from here. I stared at my wardrobe, longing to open its old doors and pack my clothes into a rucksack. I stared at my window, longing to jump out of it.

Little did I know, my legs were following my thoughts and before I knew it, I was looking down to the gravel beneath me. Should I jump?

I looked down again and thought for a moment. It was so high, probably about a 20-foot drop.

Something clicked in my mind. The vines! There were vines that grew up the side of the building that could most likely take my weight. I grabbed one and launched myself over to the side. Here I go! I began lowering myself slowly down. I was shaking violently but I wasn’t sure if it was because I was scared out of my mind about falling or if I was happy about leaving this old house. I was in a day dream as I lowered myself down the last couple of feet. Suddenly, I heard a sharp, stern voice to my left.

“CALLIE! WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?”

 

[White_Roses2]

Good. Very good.

Just remember to check you writing. I think you made a few mistakes.

For example: 'I shoved me' XD lol how do you shove yourself? I'm pretty sure you meant 'He shoved me'?