Street Trash

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Stop getting butthurt, TK is only helping her improve her writing.
This.

I'm worried you guys think I'm like twenty or something lolno. I'm like thirteen I just don't act my age. Instead I act like some stuck up b`tch who h8s teh wurld.

 
Who are you talking to? :( You're not making much sense.

 
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Nicole, a 15 year old girl who had lived on the streets all her life, and knew every bend and bump by heart, scaled a wall and hopped in through a window. She slipped into a bath that belonged to someone else and scrubbed herself pink, before dressing and scaling back down the wall. She had light brown skin, black hair that reached her thighs, neon green eyes, and stood at 5'11. She liquidly moved down the alley, unseen in the shadows, towards a man with a knife pointed at one of her fellow street family siblings. Her eyes narrowed, and she silently snuck up behind him, where she took both sides of his head and twisted till his neck broke with a sickening crunch. She looked up, and she cursed colorfully. This boy wasn't part of her street family, The Shadows. He was part of her families' worst enemies, The Wind Whisperers. She looked at the boy, but she couldn't bring herself to kill him. He was so young, probably only 4 years old at the most. "Go on boy, get off our turf" she growled at him, her nails extending into claws to scare him away. A figure landed beside the boy, and she whipped out a gun, but she didn't pull the trigger. It was the Alpha Wind Whisperer, and he blew some powder into her face.

"What the hxll! Stop that!" She said as her vision started to swirl, and everything started changing colors. She fell to the ground, and was carried down the alley without a sound.

Continue or stop the story here? Your opinions, please.
[SIZE=8pt]Goggle-Face is completely right in critisizing. Look at what I put in bold. She wants opinions. Goggle is only enforcing her opinion. If the writer wants the writing to improve, the writer should take to heart what people have to say about it. Now, please mature a little Ripcurl and let her voice her opinion. Thankss.[/SIZE]

 
How am I being immature? I simply stated that I thought she was taking her criticisms too far. How is that immature? I didn't say anything mean, rude, or childish. And papercut, I didn't say she was mean. That's precisely why I didn't understand you. I never said anything like that.

And Rawrr I have no problem with her stating her opinion. I just thought the way she presented it was a little overdone. Why is it okay for her to state her opinion and childish for me to state mine?

 
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[SIZE=8pt]Ganging up on her and then continuing to fight with her about her opinion? That's immaturity, darling.[/SIZE]
 
How did I gang up on her? Telling her I thought she was wrong? That's not ganging up on her. Are you ganging up on me? You're doing the same exact thing. Just stating your opinion. And I have no problem with that. And we weren't fighting. Where are you getting this from? :(

 
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[SIZE=8pt]Go back to the first page and read what everyone is saying because of you? And stop editing your text so you look big and bad with big words. *rolls eyes* I'm going to be the bigger, more mature person and leave this topic, in the hopes you can stop offending Goggle and do the same. Thank you.[/SIZE]
 
I'd say it could have potential, but saying "It has potential" is a nice way of saying "This story is going nowhere and it should just fade to exist in your trash bin."
This is especially what I was talking about. This comment was not necessary. Comments like this don't help the writer with the writing. It just tears them down.

FYI: I edit my posts to put something that I want to say/fix typos. If anything, I'd say you're the one being childish. And a hypocrite at that. :(

 
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[SIZE=8pt]... that's completely irrelevant to what I said. Good day.[/SIZE]
 
What others say is not my fault. I can't control whether or not they agree with me. I felt she was wrong and stated so. I'm sorry if that offends anyone. It's my opinion, something that you claim should be freely spoken. But really the truth is that you only think people have a right to their opinion only if you agree with them.

 
Even if Tk/Claire was a little harsh, we all were kind of ganging up. He/she was trying to help, and that is how TK helps. I'm not saying what she/he said was right, i'm just saying we are getting a bit judgemental. As I said, I'm not choosing sides, but we do need to back off a little. -TT2/ Salsa

 
I really think that all this fighting is so childish. I'm not going to mention any names but I think that what some people are saying is crap, and we don't need more crap on here. This is CC's book and she can write it how she wants, whether it meets to some peoples standards or not. In my opinion, I really like this book. I would definitely buy it if it was published. I think we should just drop everything here and forget and forgive. I know that somethings that were said could've not been said, but what's done is done. We don't need to carry on about it. It's just proving that you're acting childish and can't do the mature thing and forgiving.

If I came out as rude, I didn't mean to be. Now, please, I would like to see what else CC has to write. Like I said, I really like this book. :p -Shorty

 
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K, guys, was topic is going WAYY too far, and flaming is happening. Here's my piece.

TK- You are my friend and I respect you dearly, but your criticism may be a little bit harsher than what I would normally expect. This person is only learning, but you've just gone and told them to do things that more experienced writers wouldn't have trouble with, but their group might, Then again, I may be wrong here, as she did say to give opinions, as Rawrr stated, and you are trying to help, ;)

Everyone else- You people are kind of ganging up. Like I stated before, TK is just trying to help, and if you can't accept her way of helping, it's best to leave things be. And, as for Shorty4u, I don't mean to offend you in any way, and if I do, I appologize, but first you were 'Ganging Up' on TK and stuff like that, then you're just saying that everyone was getting all 'RAWWRRRR NOOOOO! BLARRR D:<', when you were too? Sorry if that's not what you meant, that's just my way of wording it, and I didn't really understand what you were trying to say.

As for CC; This is pretty good quality. I enjoyed the story, and it's topic, but it may need some improvements, as to how the scenes flow from one another. Don't worry, I have trouble with that too, everyone does have weaknesses and strengths. PM me anytime, and I'll be glad to proofread and/or help out with any of your writing, :)

-Sugary :D

EDIT: Don't start faming at me, please ;3

 
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Grr... don't anyone flame on Sugary or I'll track you down and eat you (<-- That's not going to happen, but be afraid anyways!).

Enough is enough on this arguing, I mean Yishkabobs people. This could go on foooorever, but it'll just make everyone mad. Deflate your pride, prejudice, and opinion balloons or you'll all explode.

 
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