The Amazing Adventures of a Tamagotchi

[FKOD]

Name: Iza

Gender: F

Character type: Uramemetchi

Gen: 25

Job: Hair Stylist

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Teis

Gender: M

Character type: Uramametchi

Gen: 6

Job: Tour Bus Driver

V6 Status (Blue bars):

Name: Farren

Gender: M

Character type: Kuromametchi

Gen: 22

Band: 7 Clones

Instrument: Mic

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Headphones

Eriines: *clap clap clap*

Farren: Arrrrggghhhhhh.

Iza: Blllluuuuuhhhh.

Teis: *sssiiiiigggghhhh*

Farren: Okay, I need to find a way to save us.

Eriines: No, really?

Iza: Gosh, Eriines. Let him think.

Teis: We could apologize to him.

Eriines: "Hey guy who's name we don't know and never bothered to learn, we are just so sorry for annoying, humiliating, and insulting you for trying to kidnap or kill someone we more or less hate anyways, but we don't want to die, so let's be friends!" Yeah, I don't see that working.

FKOD: That's a pretty good apology, actually. Anyways, I'm looking for unicorns so I can take their tail hairs.

Farren: Don't you have a Monsterology handbook?

FKOD: Hey, that's right! Let's take a look... I guess I'm looking for an Arabian unicorn? They live in... the Middle East. Hm.

Iza: What other kinds of unicorns are there?

FKOD: There's the Indian unicorn, which I imagine would live in India. There's the Sumatran unicorn, which is hairless... and the Serican unicorn, from northwest China.

Farren: So, you're going to go to the Middle East to look for unicorns, then?

FKOD: Yeah. It looks like I'm going to have to find a way overseas, though. Hey I wonder if Dorle's trans-dimensional machine works with travel across two separate points within the same dimension? I'll have to try that! Toodles!

Teis: Well, there goes FKOD.

Iza: Well, Monroe will still protect us from the Slayer, right?

Monroe: Hahahah. No.

Farren: Dude, what's your deal?

Monroe: Hahahahahahahaha.

Farren: Hm. Hey, let's go with FKOD. That guy won't think to look for us in another country!

??????: Actually, I would. Because I'm right here.

Iza: Eep! D-don't hurt us!

??????: Well, I'm not quite in fighting condition yet. Unfortunately.

Farren: ...Is now a good time for an apology?

??????: Nope.

Farren: D:

 

[FKOD]

Name: Syuri

Gender: F

Character type: Tsubatchi

Gen: 26

Job: None, babies don't work!

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Teis

Gender: M

Character type: Uramametchi

Gen: 6

Job: Tour Bus Driver

V6 Status (Blue bars):

Name: Farren

Gender: M

Character type: Rexitchi

Gen: 22

Band: 7 Clones

Instrument: Mic

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Headphones

Teis: Sorry about not updating for a while, the internet was out.

Eriines: Again. Ugh.

Farren: I still need to find a lady. Hey, Teis, you and I are eligible bachelors, let's go out and look for love.

Teis: But... there's no other tamagotchis around here besides us. We just have to wait for the matchmaker.

Farren: But I never get the matchmaker. It's terrible.

Syuri: Hey, whatcha doing?

Eriines: They're bickering.

Syuri: Oh. I know that. Can I play the computer?

Eriines: No, I'm using it to update the log. Typing is freaking hard with just nubs. FKOD better get back soon.

Syuri: But... I want the computer.

Eriines: >:[

Syuri: Teehee, your mad face is funny.

??????: Hey guys I'm still here.

Farren: Yeah, sure you are. Anyways, I'm going to call FKOD.

Teis: I'm pretty sure FKOD doesn't have a cellphone.

Farren: Oh.

??????: Right here guys. I'm here.

Syuri: Farren, can I play your microphone?

Farren: I guess. Just don't try to eat it again.

Syuri: Thanks. I'm going to sing.

??????: I'm totally here.

Eriines: Yeah, so?

??????: Well, you guys perceive me as a threat.

Teis: The log is public. Someone will stop you at some point.

??????: I can't be defeated so easily.

Teysa: Hey guys, how's it going?

Eriines: Who are you?

Teysa: It's me, Teysa! Oh, right, new guys right? Where's FKOD? Or dad? Or Ryyx? Or Car? Or the Tiny Vigilante Squad?

??????: Well, don't worry, you won't be alone for long. There's many of your brethren in the afterlife.

Teysa: Huh?

??????: Prepare to die, Arkling scum.

Teysa: That's very rude.

??????: What? I'm an Arkling slayer. Do you expect me to give you tea or something?

Teysa: No. I expect you to die for what you've done.

??????: Ha! Now you want to fight, do you? Well, then--

Teysa: *breathes fire*

??????: *puts up a shield* Hahahahaha!

Monroe: No! Don't fight! It's pointless!

??????: Hahahahah!

Monroe: Look buddy, if you're not going to listen to me...

Teysa: Monroe, not now!

Monroe: GUYS, TIME OUT, NOW.

??????: But--

Monroe: No buts.

Teysa: He started it!

Monroe: I don't care who started it. ???????, you go to that corner, and Teysa, you go to that corner.

??????: You... You could at least call me by my actual name, you #$^%@! *leaves*

Syuri: That's a swear!

Teysa: What just happened?

Eriines: :/

Teysa: Okay? Why am I in a corner?

Monroe: No talking while you're in time out.

Teysa: I'm confused.

Monroe: >:^

Farren: Monroe, you don't mind if Teis and I go out today, do you?

Monroe: Come back by dinner.

Eriines: When did you become our mom, Monroe?

Syuri: Momroe!

Monroe: I have to take responsibility for you. No one else is here for you.

Teysa: Well, I--

Monroe: Shhhh.

Eriines: Anyways, are you sure you want them out there? I'm a bit paranoid after watching the Venture Brothers where Doctor Venture got turned into a giant caterpillar by Dr. Girlfriend.

Teysa: What?

Eriines: *shrugs* Then again, maybe I watch too much TV.

Teysa: Uh...

 

[FKOD]

Name: Syuri

Gender: F

Character type: Uravioletchi

Gen: 26

Job: Fights fires

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Amona

Gender: F

Character type: Horoyotchi

Gen: 7

Job: Balloon catcher

V6 Status (Blue bars):

Name: Vindia

Gender: F

Character type: Mimitchi

Gen: 23

Band: The Page

Instrument: Keyboard

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Headphones

Amona: Guess what, everybody!

Vindia: We're not dead!

Syuri: As for why we haven't updated in a while...

Amona: It's Eri's fault.

Eriines: Oh, blame it on me, why don't you.

Vindia: But you're in charge of updating with FKOD gone.

Syuri: And all you do is watch TV.

Amona: All.

Vindia: The.

Syuri: Time.

Eriines: Then why don't you guys do it?

Vindia: 'Cause it's not our responsibility.

Eriines: So what?

Amona: Uh. Well. It's your job.

Eriines: Am I being paid for this crap? Is that what your saying?

Syuri: Uh...

Teysa: Come on, Eriines, go easy on them. This log is a huge responsibility and--

Eriines: IT'S A THING ON THE INTERNET. Gosh.

Teysa: Sure. But it's a thing that people enjoy. And to address the reason for the others not updating, I should remind you that it's a collaborative effort, and you're a part of it.

Eriines: Okay, jeez. So, I guess we should go over some of the more notable things that have happened in the last few days?

Vindia: Oh, yeah! Dad and Teis found love. <3

Eriines: Okay, let's not go into detail there.

Amona: What, why?

Syuri: Oh, I'll bet it's the marmalade incident...

Geiger: Hey, I thought we agreed to never bring that up. Ever.

Susan: What marmalade incident?

Eriines: Ahem. Let's not--

Teysa: I swear that only happened because we were out of butter. Just for the record.

Geiger: I said don't talk about it!

Susan: Talk about what?

Vindia: Okay, anyways, moving on--

Teysa: I just wanted to--

Vindia: MOVING ON. Anyways, when I was a kid, my battery went kaput. When it finally got replaced, I ended up staying a kid for a day longer that I should have. Which stunk.

Syuri: Yeah. So after that...

Amona: Okay, we're not going to discuss that either.

Teysa: Wait, what?

Amona: NOTHING.

Vindia: Is it just me or have these last few days been the most awkward?

Syuri: Like when Eriines and I were watching Doctor Who today and Eriines started to tear up.

Eriines: Well at least I'm not a soulless monster like you.

Syuri: Hey, those crew members were fictional.

Eriines: Yeah, so?

Vindia: It strikes me as ironic that you are more sympathetic towards fictional characters than you are towards us.

Eriines: It's easier to pity people I don't deal with on a day-to-day business.

Amona: We love you too, Eriines.

 

[FKOD]

Name: Syuri

Gender: F

Character type: Uravioletchi

Gen: 26

Job: Fights fires

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Amona

Gender: F

Character type: Horoyotchi

Gen: 7

Job: Balloon catcher

V6 Status (Blue bars):

Name: Vindia

Gender: F

Character type: Mimitchi

Gen: 23

Band: The Page

Instrument: Keyboard

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Headphones

Eriines: Well, yesterday, the internet was being a huge #&$%@, so no update.

Syuri: Eriines! Language!

Amona: Seriously, there's kids around! Which is actually true this time, because Syuri and I got the matchmaker today.

FKOD: It's all right! It's censored!

Vindia: Actually, it's only that way for the readers oh hey you're back.

Eriines: When the heck did you get here?

FKOD: Oh, quite a while ago. I replaced the clever body double you guys made for me to fool mom, and I got tired of waiting for you guys to notice.

Amona: I told you it would work.

Syuri: Well... actually... you know when it started talking? I think that was about the time the switch happened.

FKOD: I'm like a ninja! Or a secret wizard. Or both.

Vindia: Okay, FKOD, we're going to pretend that we never saw you.

FKOD: Easy enough for you guys, since I'm a secret ninja wizard.

Amona: Anyways, we went out of town today and poked around a bit. And then this evening we watched this movie called.... uh... guys I'm bad with titles.

Syuri: Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. Or something like that.

Eriines: It was okay but meh. They really toned down the gods. They're supposed to be crazy. Sons of Zeus and Posiden being rare? PFFFFT.

Vindia: *sigh* I wish a god would marry me.

Eriines: ...

Amona: Uh... I dunno about that.

FKOD: You know the god would just have a kid and forget about both of you. That is basically what they do.

Vindia: FKOD! You're supposed to be a secret ninja wizard. Stick to the shadows, miss.

FKOD: I am in the shadows. I'm just talking from the shadows.

Syuri: So... what are the gods from Greek mythology actually like?

Teysa: FKOD summed up the whole... uh...

FKOD: Kids, don't tell your parents what you are learning from this log. I don't want them to sue me.

Eriines: We haven't gone into too much detail. Anyways, let's just say those guys were crazy.

Amona: Ahem. Anyways... where were you FKOD?

FKOD: Oh, I just fell into an unstable time loop.

Syuri: Oh. Nothing serious, then?

FKOD: Nope. I just have to remember that it's a bad idea to hang around Dr. Blobagus too much.

Eriines: So... the unicorn tail or MacGuffin or whatever you were looking for?

FKOD: Gone. Unicorns can't deal with that kind of thing. Makes them surly and impatient.

Ryyx: Well, that's settled then.

Eriines: Where did you come from?

Ryyx: I was here the whole time. I'm surprised you didn't notice me.

FKOD: Yeah, I somehow managed to find Ryyx. Apparently, he was looking for Mongolian Whooping hamsters.

Vindia: Mongolian... whooping... hamsters?

Ryyx: They had escaped from a pet shop.

Amona: All right then.

Syuri: So... uh... is that your job or something?

Ryyx: I'm a freelance adventurer now.

Eriines: Hm, wouldn't you rather be rescuing damsels or something?

Ryyx: I'm new to adventuring. I have to start out small.

Clef: Yeah, I know how that is.

FKOD: O.O What are you doing here?

Biritta: You tell us.

FKOD: O.O

Syhin: That's not helping.

FKOD:

Eriines: Okay... who's that lady? And that guy? And... why are you riding a lion?

Amayum: My name is Amayum. I assume you're Eriines?

Eriines: Yeah sure. Clef is riding a lion.

That guy: Hey, you never let me--

Clef: Oh yeah, that's Leroy.

That guy: I'm--

Eriines: Leroy.

That guy: :[

Clef: Yup.

Eriines: You named it Leroy.

Clef: Yeah.

Syuri: Okay, uh, so... how are you guys?

Clef: Oh, it's been great. I have my own castle, I have a shop, which Xoco runs, by the way. And Syhin I got married.

Amona: Where's your baby, then?

Syhin: What?

Vindia: Well, you're married.

FKOD: Uh, when humans--

Syhin: Or elves.

FKOD: When humanoid beings marry, they don't have babies right away. Real world obligations and pregnancy and stuff make the whole "let's have lots of kids" thing hard.

Metta: ...We need to focus.

FKOD: Yeah sure. Detective FKOD on the case. You too Ryyx.

Ryyx: But I don't even know what's going on.

That guy: And I still haven't been introduced.

Ryyx: Well, do it now, the log update is about to end.

Emerald-8: My name is Emerald-8.

Syuri: That sounds like some kind of robot name. Is that really your name?

Emerald-8: No. My real name is classified.

Metta: Everything is classified with him.

Biritta: He's boring!

Emerald-8: But I... I'm a... well, my occupation and race are classified--

FKOD: Yressia scout.

Emerald-8: H-how did you know that?

FKOD: I'm a secret ninja wizard! Also I might have created you.

Ryyx: I don't even... What is going on here?

Leroy: >:3

 

[FKOD]

Name: Syuri

Gender: F

Character type: Uravioletchi

Gen: 26

Job: Fights fires

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Amona

Gender: F

Character type: Horoyotchi

Gen: 7

Job: Balloon catcher

V6 Status (Blue bars):

Name: Vindia

Gender: F

Character type: Mimitchi

Gen: 23

Band: The Page

Instrument: Keyboard

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Headphones

Ryyx: Oh, so that's what's going on here. So... uh.... was that part about the pirates true? It didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the story.

FKOD: You think I'm a liar? How dare you sir.

Eriines: Ryyx, if you cared about the truth, you'd read the log instead of listening to FKOD.

Clef: Anyways, did you come up with any ideas, "detective" FKOD?

FKOD: Oh of course. I'm a secret detective ninja wizard, after all. Anyways, I think it has something to do with Blobagus and the unicorn coming into contact with an unstable time loop. According to my resources, letting an eldritch horror and a unicorn near any sort of disturbance in reality is bad news.

Syuri: Is Dr. Blobagus really an eldritch horror? I thought he was an Arkling.

Teysa: Funny thing to mention, Syuri. As it turns out--

FKOD: Hey I'm being a detective right now. I have to explain everything to the crowd here. Anyways, the thing is, the dimensional machine...

Vindia: Oh gosh did it blow up?

Amona: Is it still working?

FKOD: Well yeah.

Biritta: Oh, so no problem, then?

FKOD: Well, there's still this wee problem... Candy Mountain has disappeared.

Syuri: What?

Amona: But how?

FKOD: I don't know. It's just gone. We'll have to find it, wherever it is. Anyways, what were you saying Teysa?

Teysa: Mrph Hrmph!

??????: Hahaha, are you surprised?

Clef: Who's that guy?

Eriines: That's... uh.... dang, we don't know his name.

Ryyx: ....Epere?

Epere: ...You? What are you doing here?

Ryyx: I... That's a good question. What are you doing here? And why are you kidnapping Teysa? He doesn't like that.

Epere: He's a menace. All Arklings are.

Ryyx: That's racist.

Teysa: I know right?

Epere: Hey! I gagged you! How did you even--

Amona: Uh. Tentacles. Hello.

Epere: Oh. That. Um. Uh. *shoves Teysa away* Well, it sure has been a while... ah...

Ryyx: Ryyx.

Epere: Is that your name? I could've sworn...

Vindia: *tilts head* I don't get it.

Ryyx: Once a Niriphale name changes, it really changes.

Emerald-8: We'll pretend to understand what that means.

Amayum: So, Epere, how do you know Ryyx?

Epere: Oh, long story short, his master is--

Vindia: Sorry to interrupt, but I found Candy Mountain.

Amona: Where?

Vindia: Up there.

Syuri: Oh wow. How'd that happen?

FKOD: Idunno. I hope you can fly, Clef.

Clef: Well, that's what the wings are for.

Eriines: Wait, you guys have wings?

Biritta: A bunch of us do, yeah. It just doesn't show up on our sprites.

Syuri: What?

FKOD: Case closed! Clef, you're going home! Again!

Epere: Okay, anyways, his master is--

Monroe: Oh gosh, why am I covered in marmalade? What happened?

Syhin: Good question.

Geiger: WE WON'T DISCUSS IT. GOOD NIGHT.

Epere: But--

Geiger: GOOD NIGHT.

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Gris

Gender: M

Character type: Hitodetchi

Gen: 27

Job: Totally an astronaut or something cool like that

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Hans

Gender: M

Character type: Hitodetchi

Gen: 8

Job: I bet he's like a scientist or something

V6 Status (Blue bars):

Name: Vindia

Gender: F

Character type: Mimitchi

Gen: 23

Band: The Page

Instrument: Keyboard

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Headphones

Eriines: Hey, Epere, you aren't going to try to kill us this time, are you?

Ryyx: Wait, what? Why would he do that?

Epere: They insulted me.

Vindia: So? People do that to each other all the time.

Gris: Even grown-ups?

Vindia: Yup.

Hans: So when Gris and I were having our insulting contest, and you said it was childish...

Eriines: Aw, Vindia, they think you're a hypocrite! How adorable!

Gris: I'm not sure what a hippo-crit is, but I sure do think that Vindi is totally one of those.

Vindia: There is totally a difference between being an adult and acting like one. And then there's more than one kind of insult, with some being more childish and less clever that others. Also--

Hans: Okay, we get it now. We are totally space scientists here after all.

Vindia: What? No you aren't.

Gris: Yes we are! I... I've been to outer space! ...Twice!

Hans: And I do quite a bit of science, I'll have you know.

Vindia: Really.

Gris: Yeah, really!

Hans: It's true. I could scientifically prove it.

Vindia: I can scientifically prove that you're both lying.

Eriines: I can scientifically prove that Vindia has no idea how to deal with children.

Monroe: And I can scientifically prove that you all need to shut up.

Vindia: Monroe, that was rude.

Monroe: I'm covered in marmalade for no apparent reason! And I can't seem to remember anything prior to yesterday!

Geiger: I said we wouldn't discuss it!

Monroe: You're not the boss of me!

Susan: Stop arguing!

Monroe: Huh-uh. I want answers!

Geiger: And I want you to shut up!

Monroe: Well I will shut up. Once you tell me what the deal is here.

Geiger: But I can't.

Eriines: What, will it cause his brain to fizz out or something? Is he some sort of Doctor Monroe?

Monroe: ...Doctor?

FKOD: Oh, she was making a reference to Doctor Wh--

Eriines: Yes Doctor. You're a doctor of time and space. *shoves Gris and Hans toward Monroe* Here's your new assistants!

Gris: Wow!

Hans: We... we get to assist a grown-up doctor scientist!

Gris: So cool!

Vindia: *whispering* Whatcha doing?

Eriines: Establishing an identity for Monroe and making those kids happy at the same time.

Vindia: So... it's like killi-- helping two birds with one... helpful... thing?

Eriines: Sure.

FKOD: Good idea! Except Monroe wouldn't know anything about that subject!

Ryyx: Well we have the internet at our disposal.

FKOD: Oh. This could work then. It totally could.

Epere: That's good to know. Anyways, as I was saying yesterday, before I was rudely interrupted several times, Aparus--

FKOD: I smell dinner.

Epere: Wait, I wanted to tell--

FKOD: Dinner time! See you next time, folks!

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Gris

Gender: M

Character type: Crackertchi

Gen: 27

Job: Monroe's assistant... also a fisticuffs student I guess

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Hans

Gender: M

Character type: Crackertchi

Gen: 8

Job: Monroe's assistant... but he studies sparkliness too

V6 Status (Blue bars):

Name: Vindia

Gender: F

Character type: Mimitchi

Gen: 23

Band: The Page

Instrument: Keyboard

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar (hecks yeah)

FKOD: *waves arms like a crazy person* I won! Holy crap I won!

Eriines: Good for you I guess?

Ryyx: What did you win?

FKOD: A free Tama-Go! And a figurine to go with it.

Ryyx: I don't know exactly what you're talking about, but congratulations anyways.

Vindia: Oh hey, this is your last day of summer vacation, isn't it?

FKOD: Yeah, it is. Which is kind of bummeriffic, but hey.

Vindia: You know what else is bummeriffic? That stupid manager of mine hasn't brought a mate.

Gris: Probably 'cause you called him stupid.

Hans: It's rude to say things like that.

Vindia: I'm only sayin' that 'cause I WANT A HUSBAND DARN IT. SO I CAN HAVE THE BABIES.

Hans: What about adoption?

Vindia: I'm not sure if that's possible. I can't officially adopt or anything like that.

Epere: How unfortunate. Now, for what I was going to say--

Monroe: Guys, the problem light is on!

Vindia: Problem light?

Gris: Yeah, it lights up when there's a problem.

Hans: A really bad one, like a tear in the space-time continuum, or something like that.

Eriines: Ah, and I imagine it fails to pinpoint the source of the problem.

Monroe: Well, until I make Problem Light V2, this will have to do. We should find what's making it light up.

FKOD: Well, Candy Mountain is still floating above our heads. That could be a problem.

Monroe: Hm. So that wasn't always there?

Eriines: No. Hang on, did that thing only light up just now?

Monroe: Well, I just turned it on.

Vindia: Dang. Maybe it is Candy Mountain.

Gris: Only one way to find out!

Hans: Wait, how'd it get up there in the first place.

Eriines: Your guess is as good as mine.

Hans: Hm. Monroe, do you know a way to, uh, find out?

Monroe: Hm. Good question. I'll have to do some research. Anyways, I don't think it would be a good idea to stick around here. If it stops floating...

Gris: That would be bad.

FKOD: Maybe I should move my entire house. I don't want that crushed!

Eriines: How are you going to manage that?

FKOD: Well, once I figure out how Candy Mountain got up there...

Epere: That's nice but--

Hans: Hey, look, there's someone up there, in the sky...

Gris: It's a bird!

Vindia: It's a plane!

FKOD: Nope it's just some psychic dude. Dudette? Hard to tell. Someone go up there and see who it is.

Monroe: Wait! If their concentration is broken...

FKOD: Just go take a wee look. Nothing too crazy or rebellious. Teysa, you still float right?

Teysa: Yeah.

FKOD: Go up there.

Teysa: Okay. *goes up there, just like I said!* ...?

Psychic: Ohai. Who are you?

Teysa: Teysa. You?

Psychic: I don't remember! Uh... hey, do you know where this thingy here goes? I stopped it from dropping on that thingy down there and I don't know what to do with it!

Teysa: Um... I'll go ask my friends, they know.

Psychic: Okey dokey!

Several moved mountains, terrible misunderstandings, candy nommings, and one second later...

Monroe: Well, that's fixed, but the light's still on.

Psychic: Try hitting it a few times...

Monroe: What?

FKOD: *smacks the machine* Ey! *light goes off* Holy crap! That worked! I'm like the Faunz!

Monroe: It was malfunctioning?

Eriines: Either that or FKOD broke it.

FKOD: Pfft. How could these scrawny little arms--

Machine: *sparks and makes weird noises*

FKOD: Uh-oh.

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Gris

Gender: M

Character type: Crackertchi

Gen: 27

Job: Monroe's assistant... also a fisticuffs student I guess

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Hans

Gender: M

Character type: Crackertchi

Gen: 8

Job: Monroe's assistant... but he studies sparkliness too

V6 Status (Blue bars):

Name: Vindia

Gender: F

Character type: Mimitchi

Gen: 23

Band: The Page

Instrument: Keyboard

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

Eriines: Is that light fixed yet?

Monroe: No.

Gris: This is really weird.

Hans: Just what did you do, FKOD?

FKOD: It was the two-armed man.

Vindia: Nuh-uh. We were there. We saw it happen.

FKOD: Prove it.

Ryyx: Read the previous log update.

FKOD: Well. Shut up.

Epere: Oh, also--

FKOD: HEY VINDIA I HAVE SOMETHING I NEED TO DISCUSS.

Vindia: What?

Epere: But--

FKOD: So, you're all married now, and you'll leave tomorrow.

Vindia: Yup.

FKOD: Welp, I'm getting that Tama-Go soon...

Vindia: I see where you're going with this.

FKOD: Yup.

Vindia: Okay. Sure.

FKOD: ...

Vindia: ...

Epere: So--

Monroe: Holy crap!

Eriines: What?

Hans: Oh no!

Gris: I-It can't be!

Ryyx: What?

Monroe: Oh, wait, false alarm.

Epere: Oh. In that case--

Psychic: So, um, what's going on here?

Epere: Hey, I was--

FKOD: Shh shh shh.

Epere: But--

Eriines: Well, basically, FKOD busted this machine that's lights up when reality breaks.

FKOD: It was Epere.

Epere: No it wasn--

FKOD: Shh shh shh.

Psychic: Oh. So... why does that guy keep getting interrupted?

Gris: Well, it's basically a running gag by now.

Epere: Hey, I'm not some sort of--

Hans: It's practically become mandatory to interrupt everything he says.

Psychic: Oh. Okay. Well, the ducky is a science guy right?

Monroe: Yup.

Psychic: Could you help me with this whole amnesia dealie?

Monroe: Hm... that's not my specialty, but I'll see if--

Dr. Blobagus: No need to worry, I'm a doctor.

Monroe: No you aren't.

Dr. Blobagus: Yes I am.

Monroe: No. No you aren't. It's been established long ago that you're degree is fake.

Dr. Blogagus: And where is your degree, sir?

Monroe: I don't have one. But I don't call myself a doctor.

Dr. Blobagus: Well, what entitles you to tinker with the fabric of reality?

Monroe: I haven't even done that yet really.

FKOD: Unlike some people we know? *coughs*

Dr. Blobagus: *looks at Epere* Really? That guy?

Epere: No, she's talking about--

FKOD: No, brain-genious, that's you.

Dr. Blobagus: ...What am I being accused of again?

Eriines: Murder, first degree. You are under arrest.

Dr. Blobagus: Oh that's right. Erm. Wait. I think it was that guy.

Ryyx: What?

Psychic: Uh, she was joking.

Dr. Blobagus: Who was joking?

Gris: Ugh. Having any sort of coherent conversation with this guy is impossible.

Hans: There's no such thing as impossible.

Gris: Yes there is!

Hans: No there isn't.

Gris: Yeah!

Hans: No!

Gris: Yeah!

Hans: No!

Vindia: Guys, cut it out.

Gris: No!

Hans: Ah-hah, you agree with me!

Gris: I wasn't saying no to me, I was saying no to her, you jerk.

Hans: You're a jerk!

Psychic: Guys, there's no need to argue!

Eriines: Or if you do argue, do it in a less annoying fasion. Please.

Hans: Sorry.

Gris: It won't happen again.

Monroe: So, hm, Miss...

Psychic: Ooh, I need a name! But what should I call myself...

FKOD: Ooh, how about--

Ryyx: I think we've established that naming things isn't--

FKOD: Well I had a totally serious one this time.

Teysa: Really?

FKOD: Totally.

Vindia: Well?

FKOD: How about Rhian?

Rhian: Oooooh! I like that! Rhian it is!

Monroe: Rhian, do you remember anything?

Rhian: Well, I remember having floaty powers.

Gris: Telekinesis, you mean?

Rhian: If that's the fancy sciencey term, sure! So, um, how do I remember stuff?

Hans: Well, I guess you just wait until an event that brings on a flashback.

FKOD: You could chill out here. We go through enough crazy shenanigans that something has to jog your memory.

Rhian: Oh, thank you! You guys are so nice! :3

FKOD: But just so you know, the :3 face is my thing.

Rhian: :[

Vindia: Oh, FKOD, how can you stay mad at a face like that?

FKOD: Okay, you can make the :3 face. Just don't overdo it.

Rhian: :3

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Gris

Gender: M

Character type: Matsuritchi

Age: 3 years

Gen: 27

Job: Monroe's assistant... also a fisticuffs student I guess

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Hans

Gender: M

Character type: Samuraitichi

Age: 3 years

Gen: 8

Job: Monroe's assistant... but he studies sparkliness too

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Age: 44 years

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

Monroe: I fixed the light! It's not on right now, though.

Hans: Wait, how do we know whether or not it's working right now?

Gris: Hm. Good question. However, I'm a samurai now apparently, so that has to help.

Epere: Really?

Monroe: I guess no-- oh crap the light is on.

Eriines: Any ideas why that is?

Gris: Nope!

Rhian: Hm. Maybe you should have more than just a light to tell you when something goes wrong.

Eriines: I told him that already. He seems to be incapable of taking good advice.

Monroe: Oh shut up. I have no idea how to design such an interface.

FKOD: Plug it into a computer? Design a program? Idunno, you're the scientist.

Hans: I got it! We plug it into a person's nervous system! So, they can like, tell us what the problem is.

Gris: Brilliant! ...Any volunteers?

FKOD: 1, 2, 3, not it!

Ryyx: Not it!

Eriines: Not it!

Epere: Not it!

Rhian: ...What? Um...

FKOD: Well, I actually like her, so let's pretend Epere didn't say anything.

Epere: Hey!

Ryyx: Wait, did we stop interrupting him?

Hans: Wait, I got it! The light's on because we stopped interrupting Epere!

Epere: What? That's stup--

Gris: Nuh-uh.

Monroe: Well, that must be the case, because the light just went off.

FKOD: Huh. Weird. So, does anything bad happen if we let Epere use a complete sentence?

Gris: Well... it apparently damages reality somehow...

MEANWHILE...

TOP: Okay I don't know why or how those eldritch horrors were running around Central park, but I think they're gone now.

CIK: Cthulhu, you know anything about that?

MC: *eldritch nope*

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Gris

Gender: M

Character type: Matsuritchi

Age: 4 years

Gen: 27

Job: Firefighter TOTALLY MONROE'S KICKIN' RAD SCIENCE ASSISTANT

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Hans

Gender: M

Character type: Samuraitichi

Age: 4 years

Gen: 8

Job: Hair stylist OBVIOUSLY MONROE'S WONDERFULLY HELPFUL ASSISTANT

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Age: 45 years

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

Hans: Hey FKOD, is that play-doh?

FKOD: Maybe.

Gris: Why did you buy play-doh?

FKOD: Well, I needed some for a physics assignment, but Wal-Mart didn't have any individual containers, so I kept the rest for myself. Now I'm making tiny blue and lavender people do battle.

Eriines: So... did you do anything exciting today?

FKOD: Well, just back-to-school stuff, meeting new teachers, stuff like that.

Monroe: Can we talk about something interesting?

FKOD: NEVER.

Monroe: ;>;

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Gris

Gender: M

Character type: Matsuritchi

Age: 6 years

Gen: 27

Job: Firefighter TOTALLY MONROE'S KICKIN' RAD SCIENCE ASSISTANT

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Hans

Gender: M

Character type: Samuraitichi

Age: 6 years

Gen: 8

Job: Hair stylist OBVIOUSLY MONROE'S WONDERFULLY HELPFUL ASSISTANT

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Age: 47 years

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

FKOD: Hello, my wonderful readers! My internet was being a complete and total jerk yesterday, so yeah.

Eriines: I think your internet is always a complete and total jerk.

FKOD: Yeah. That's what I get for living in the middle of nowhere. Once I get my own house, I'm going to live a bit closer to the edge of somewhere.

Gris: So, anyways, the last two days--

FKOD: SSSSSOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUXXXXXX!

Hans: What?

Eriines: Oh, calm down. I think he comes back to life later.

Ryyx: Pardon?

FKOD: Oh, just some dead guy.

Eriines: Please don't tell me we're going to have some sort of memorial thing as a daily or weekly thing.

FKOD: Nah, there's not enough dead people around.

Teysa: Um, okay? Is this someone you know, or...?

FKOD: It's a comic character. Anyways, today we saw Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Well, all of us except for Monroe, 'cause he's boring.

Monroe: Oh hush you. I had work to do.

Hans: All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy.

Epere: Who the &%@# is Joh--

Gris: Language sir. Language. I believe you failed to notice the infants accompanying us.

Epere: I doubt they actually understa--

Gris's daughter: Yeah, we do.

Hans's daughter: It's true.

GD: We have the English.

HD: We are good at English.

Rhian: So, what are their names?

Gris: Remel!

Hans: And Sanva!

Teysa: Those are cute names!

Sanva: Darn straight.

Remel: What's that mean?

Sanva: Idunno. I heard FKOD say it though.

Hans: FKOD...

FKOD: It was the two-armed man.

Gris: Really.

FKOD: He can perfectly mimic my appearance and voice. I thought you knew that.

Eriines: So he's a cross-dresser?

Two-Armed Man: ...No! I'm a master of disguise! There's a difference.

Ryyx: T-there really is a two-armed man?

Eriines: Only several billion in the world, Ryyx. Get with the program.

Ryyx: I meant the one that FKOD was talking about. I figured that was obvious.

TAM: Well, anyways, I just wanted to clear that up.

TOP: *walks in* You would not believe-- hey, what's with the cross-dresser?

TAM: I'm not a cross-dresser!

Monroe: You're a man dressed as a woman.

TAM: I'm dressed as FKOD as a disguise!

CIK: Well, it's not such a great disguise when you announce who you are.

Gris: I know, right?

TAM: Oh shut up.

Remel: Hey, be nice.

Sanva: You got to be nice or daddy will yell at you.

Hans: I really will.

TAM: Yeah okay. Whatever. I'm going to disguise as someone else, since you're all jerks.

MC: *eldritch well what did I ever do to you jeez*

Rhian: Hm, who's he going to disguise as next?

Eriines: Hopefully something silly so we can taunt him more.

FKOD: Yay for taunting people!

Gris: Hey, those aren't good things for my kids to be learning.

FKOD: Well, at least we aren't setting things on fire and gnawing on picnic tables.

Hans: What?

FKOD: You heard me.

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Gris

Gender: M

Character type: Matsuritchi

Age: 6 years

Gen: 27

Job: Firefighter TOTALLY MONROE'S KICKIN' RAD SCIENCE ASSISTANT

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Hans

Gender: M

Character type: Samuraitichi

Age: 6 years

Gen: 8

Job: Hair stylist OBVIOUSLY MONROE'S WONDERFULLY HELPFUL ASSISTANT

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Age: 48 years

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

FKOD: Gosh darn it why hasn't that Tama-Go gotten here yet.

Eriines: Knowing you, you probably screwed up the address you gave the Admin.

FKOD: Hey, just because I can't remember my phone number doesn't mean I don't know my address like the back of my hand.

Gris: FKOD, that's a double negative.

FKOD: Your face is a double negative.

Hans: Faces can't be double negatives.

Remel: What's a double negative?

Sanva: Uh, it's two negatives, whatever those are.

TAM: Guys, stop being so negative.

Eriines: Who the heck are you disguised as now?

TAM: Myself.

Ryyx: Doesn't that mean you're not in disguise?

TAM: I'm always in disguise!

Rhian: But... you're not in disguise right now.

TAM: Yes I am.

Monroe: No. Disguises are used to look like someone who is not you.

TAM: Well, has it ever occurred to you that I'm not me?

Hans: Then who are you?

TAM: The Two-Armed Man, duh.

Gris: So... you're the Two-Armed Man who isn't the Two-Armed Man who is disguised as the Two-Armed Man.

TAM: Hey, don't make it sound so complicated!

Remel: But it is complicated.

Sanva: How can you not be the Two-Armed Man when you are the Two-Armed Man?

Monroe: And how can the Two-Armed Man be disguised as the Two-Armed Man when we established that one cannot disguise as him/herself?

TAM: Would you people just stop I mean seriously.

Epere: It's no use arguing with th--

TAM: I didn't want your opinion.

Epere: Oh, what was that? You want me to rip out your pancreas and--

FKOD: Dude, control yourself.

Epere: But he--

FKOD: Look, here's a picture of a nudibranch with a tiny bow-tie. Look at this when you start getting angry, okay?

Epere: *rips picture in half* I don't give a &$#% about... colorful.... space slugs?

Gris: Aquatic, actually.

Monroe: Oh crap, no one interrupted him! Wait, the light's not on. Hm.

Rhian: Maybe that one time it did when no one interrupted him was just a coincidence?

Teysa: Maybe something else has to happen?

Epere: I don't know but now maybe you'll let me tell you about Aparu--

FKOD: No, that gag must prevail. No one but you and possibly Ryyx must know whatever it is you've been trying to tell us.

Teysa: Just out of curiosity, is there any particular reason for that?

FKOD: Nope.

Eriines: I think it's just because we don't care.

Rhian: I care.

FKOD: Yeah, but... uh....

Rhian: So let him say it! There can't be any harm in knowing!

FKOD: But it's a GAG!

Rhian: I don't know what you're talking about...

FKOD: You know. It's funny. And it might be fun for the readers to try and figure out what he would tell us.

Hans: Kind of like the marmalade indecent.

Geiger: I SAID WE WOULDN'T BRING THAT UP AGAIN, GOSH.

Susan: But--

Geiger: Noooo.

Susan: ->-

Gris: Anyways, no one will know about either of those things.

Eriines: Except for the people that do.

Gris: Yeah, sure.

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Remel

Gender: F

Character type: Urayoungmemetchi

Age: 1 year

Gen: 28

Job: Sparkliness Student

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Sanva

Gender: F

Character type: Urayoungmemetchi

Age: 1 year

Gen: 9

Job: Smiley Face Student

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Age: 50 years

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

FKOD: :[

Eriines: What's with you?

FKOD: My history class went like 30 minutes longer than it should of been and I had no lunch.

Remel: Well, at least you'll have dinner soon, right?

FKOD: Yeah, I guess. Also, my Tama-Go isn't here yet.

Sanva: Aw, FKOD, isn't enough that you get it for free? Most people have to pay for theirs.

FKOD: ...Don't try to use a reasonable sounding argument to try and get me to understand the issue at hand, young lady.

Sanva: But--

FKOD: Nope.

Sanva: :[

TAM: Well, if you're done complaining now--

FKOD: No. I want to complain about--

Epere: No, you're done, so--

Ryyx: Are we just all interrupting each other or--

Teysa: Yeah, it seems to be that w--

Rhian: Oh gosh this is so sill--

FKOD: Yeah it is si--

Eriines: So why aren't we stopp--

TAM: I don't know... oh hey, combo breake--

FKOD: PIZZA YEEEEEAAAAHHHH! *rushes off*

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Remel

Gender: F

Character type: Urayoungmemetchi

Age: 2 years

Gen: 28

Job: Sparkliness Student

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Sanva

Gender: F

Character type: Urayoungmemetchi

Age: 2 years

Gen: 9

Job: Smiley Face Student

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Age: 51 years

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

FKOD: Today is my brother's birthday!

Eriines: He got a Venture Brothers DVD set. You better let me watch it with him.

FKOD: Sure thing, Eri~ So, I've been reading The Amulet of Samarkand, but I have no idea what to read next. Let's see, there's some Terry Pratchett books I haven't read, a Doctor Who series I want to start on, I still need to get around to reading the next Dresden files, and then there's that Redwall book...

Remel: Hm, maybe you could finish the Dresden files?

FKOD: Yeah. I've been taking my dear sweet time on those because apparently the latest one ends in a cliffhanger and the next one doesn't come out until next year or something. But at the pace I'm going...

Eriines: Yeah, well, I want to read Doctor Who. You know I can't handle books on my own due to my size, and IT'S FREAKING DOCTOR WHO.

FKOD: Oh, have patience miss.

Ryyx: FKOD, just how long have you've been reading your book now?

FKOD: A while. I haven't read much lately. I blame society.

Sanva: But society didn't do anything. You just spend lots of time on the internet.

FKOD: Shhhhh.

TAM: Yeah, it's tru--

FKOD: Shhhhhh.

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Remel

Gender: F

Character type: Uramemetchi

Age: 3 years

Gen: 28

Job: Sparkliness Student

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Sanva

Gender: F

Character type: Purimatchi

Age: 3 years

Gen: 9

Job: Smiley Face Student

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Age: 52 years

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

FKOD: Well, Ryyx went off to go on adventures and stuff. So yeah. And if any of the readers are interested, I got a formspring for some reason.

Rhian: What's that?

FKOD: It's crazy is what it is. It lets random people on the internet interrogate you.

Eriines: Aw, but how could it be like that if I can't slap you until you give in? That's how I would go about interrogating someone, anyways.

FKOD: Eriines, you're right here. I am within slapping distance.

Eriines: But your face is up there. Dang it, being short stinks.

Remel: You're not short, you're vertically challenged.

Eriines: Same difference.

Sanva: You could get a ladder.

FKOD: Or maybe Sanva could stop helping Eriines.

Monroe: Gosh Eriines, if you're so bored, challenge Epere to a duel to the de-- uh, unconsciousness?

Epere: What?

Eriines: Don't I need to slap him in the face with a glove to do that?

FKOD: Here is a glove.

Eriines: *throws glove at Epere's face* Okay, I challenge you to a duel.

Epere: Really? You couldn't hope to beat m--

Eriines: *hits Epere in the shins with her guitar*

Epere: Argh! Son of a--

Eriines: Pft, you're pathetic. I didn't even swing full-force.

Epere: How does a little old lady like you even--

Eriines: Oh that does it. I'm going to kick your #%@.

*and then Epere got his butt handed to him*

Epere: ...Ow.

FKOD: Wow, Eriines, I didn't know you could fight.

Remel: And that must be one durable guitar.

Eriines: Well I didn't pay 4 million points for nothing.

Sanva: Is Epere going to be alright?

FKOD: Eh, he's still twitching a little.

Rhian: Poor Epere.

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Remel

Gender: F

Character type: Uramemetchi

Age: 4 years

Gen: 28

Job: Bank.... person... that uh... does stuff.... at the bank

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Sanva

Gender: F

Character type: Purimatchi

Age: 4 years

Gen: 9

Job: Driver person... who drives a bus

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Age: 54 years

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

FKOD: Hey everybody, I was busy last night so yeah.

Sanva: This update is here to remind you guys that we still love you.

FKOD: This is going to be a quickie, since I have a friend's birthday party to go to.

Eriines: Wait, you have a social life?

FKOD: More of a social life than you have.

Remel: Aw, that's mean.

FKOD: She started it.

TAM: Are you guys always this childish?

Eriines: It's mostly FKOD.

FKOD: :'[

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Remel

Gender: F

Character type: Uramemetchi

Age: 5 years

Gen: 28

Job: Bank.... person... that uh... does stuff.... at the bank

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Sanva

Gender: F

Character type: Purimatchi

Age: 5 years

Gen: 9

Job: Driver person... who drives a bus

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Age: 55 years

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

FKOD: Okay, another quick update.

Remel: Are we ever going to do an actual update?

FKOD: If I get the time. But I have to do some work.

Rhian: So, was the party last night fun?

FKOD: Hecks to the yeah. It was awesome.

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Remel

Gender: F

Character type: Uramemetchi

Age: 5 years

Gen: 28

Job: Bank.... person... that uh... does stuff.... at the bank

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Sanva

Gender: F

Character type: Purimatchi

Age: 5 years

Gen: 9

Job: Driver person... who drives a bus

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi

Age: 55 years

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

FKOD: Okay, I'm done. Let's do this, guys!

Remel: Yay!

Sanva: Huzzah!

Eriines: It's about time.

?????: Cool.

Epere: Wait, who the heck are you?

Airon: Whoops, forgot to introduce myself. I'm Airon.

FKOD: Oh. Okay then. What are you doing here?

Airon: I'm looking for Ryyx.

Rhian: Oh, he went on adventures and stuff.

Eriines: He'll probably come back once he realizes that he forgot his wallet.

Teysa: So, why are you looking for him?

Airon: He's my friend.... we kind of lost touch for a while, but then I found this log thingy...

FKOD: Wait, Ryyx has friends?

Airon: Well yeah. For instance, there's you guys.

Eriines: We're more.... acquaintances, really.

Epere: I don't even like him all that much.

Rhian: But Epere, he's not very mean to you or anything.

FKOD: Yeah, but he's essentially Ryyx's replacement for "guy who gets beat up, insulted, etc."

Sanva: Of course, when you put it that way, it's pretty easy to see why Epere can be a bit grumpy.

Remel: I thought he was like that anyway.

FKOD: Anyways, I guess you can hang around here, Airon. That's what everyone else does.

Airon: Okay!

Dr. Blobagus: Hey guys, I found a nickel.

Eriines: Why should we care?

Dr. Blobagus: Well look. This was clearly generated from the satisfaction of a certain requirement, like saying a certain phrase.

Airon: ...Did you steal that from Ryyx's wallet?

Dr. Blobagus: ...No. Of course not. Don't be silly. I didn't even know that he had a wallet.

Airon: I don't feel inclined to believe you.

Dr. Blobagus: ...Look, a rare flame caterpillar! Over there! *floats away*

TOP: I don't see it.

CIK: That's probably because there is no flame caterpillar.

MC: *eldritch hahahahah Tiny Optimus Prime you are so stupid*

TOP: Hey. That's not very nice.

Airon: ...

Eriines: So... welcome to the log!

Airon: ...Thanks?

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Remel

Gender: F

Character type: Uramemetchi

Age: 5 years

Gen: 28

Job: Bank.... person... that uh... does stuff.... at the bank

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Sanva

Gender: F

Character type: Purimatchi

Age: 5 years

Gen: 9

Job: Driver person... who drives a bus

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi (Mochatchi)

Age: 55 years

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

FKOD: Guess who has two thumbs and didn't get the chance to update the log last night?

Remel: Obama?

FKOD: Well, I suppose that is sort of true, since Obama has two thumbs and he didn't update the log. But that's not the right answer.

Sanva: Oh, I know, Santa!

FKOD: Nope.

Dr. Blobagus: The Two-Armed Man?

TAM: Hey, it's not my job to update the log. It's FKOD's--

FKOD: FINALLY SOMEONE GOT IT RIGHT.

Dr. Blobagus: Oh, so it was TAM. Huh, I was just making a wild guess.

FKOD: Anyways, uh, stuff.

Epere: Yeah.

FKOD: Uh-huh.

Eriines: Are we actually going to talk about anythi--

TAM: Holy crap, who are you?

Eriines: It's me, you idiot.

TAM: Define "me."

FKOD: Me. Pronoun. Used to--

TAM: Oh shush.

FKOD: You shush.

Mr. Margleton: Why are we shushing?

FKOD: OMYGOSH MARGLETON YOU'RE BACK!!!

Rhian: Oh, is that a friend of yours?

Mr. Margleton: Who are all these people? Are you having a sleepover or something?

FKOD: You have some catching up to do.

Eriines: And by "some" we mean "a lot."

Mr. Margleton: Oh, man, this log has already gotten to six pages?

FKOD: Yup. So did you become the Pokemon Master?

Mr. Margleton: No... I got a bit sidetracked... and by "a bit" I mean "very."

Airon: What happened?

Mr. Margleton: Hm... long story.

FKOD: Yeah... we'll get to that later... I have stuff to do.

Remel: FKOD, stop being so busy!

Sanva: Seriously!

FKOD: D:

 

[FKOD]

V4.5 Status (Green with black swirls)

Name: Nero

Gender: M

Character type: Hitodetchi

Age: 0 years

Gen: 29

Job: Preschooler

V4.5 Status (Autumn leaves):

Name: Vetta

Gender: F

Character type: Hitodetchi

Age: 0 years

Gen: 10

Job: Preschooler

V6 Status (Glam Rock)

Name: Eriines

Gender: F

Character type: Dangoobatchi (Mochatchi)

Age: 58 years (I've been forgetting to update her age, herp derp)

Gen: 9

Band: Change

Instrument: Wild Guitar

FKOD: Okay, another quickie here.

Mr. Margleton: Aw man. That stinks.

Vetta: FKOD, this log needs more shenanigans.

Nero: Yeah, seriously.

FKOD: Hey, it already has a lot of shenanigans! Oodles of them.

Eriines: Oodles?

FKOD: OODLES.

Rhian: ...Are you sure?

FKOD: I'm positive.

Nero: Well I'm negative.

Vetta: That... that wasn't a good comeback.

Nero: Yes it was.

Vetta: No. No it wasn't.

Epere: Would you two shut up?

Monroe: Why don't we all shut up?

Airon: Oh, stop arguing.

Vetta: Huh-uh.

Nero: Never!

FKOD: Guys, we can't have pointless arguments in a quick log!

Mr. Margleton: What were we arguing about again?

FKOD: Exactly my point. END LOG.

Vetta: But--

FKOD: Shhhhhh.