Tommorow brings anew

[~Yogurt~]

Here is my story:

Chapter 1,Hush:

As the wind tore at my windows and thunder stomped along the wind.I was sleeping in a restless state,all of the sudden I woke,but didn't open my eyes,I heard my mother whisper in my ear,"hush,tommorow brings anew"She tipoed back to her room.I eard a door close and my eyes popped open.I Mary May.Sat up and looked at my cat strech and show her little pink tongue.

Thats all I got.

 

[GotchiGirl96]

... Not a bad start, but honestly, it's not that good either. It's really not that your actual context was so bad, I mean, it was short, but what threw me off the most was your grammar. You had a lot of punctuation errors and that makes the story aesthetically displeasing and hard to read. Once you add more of the plot in, and fix up your mechanics mistakes, you'll have a good start.

 

[White_Roses2]

I agree with GotchiGirl96.

Look:

along the wind.I was sleeping

No space in between the sentences.

along the wind. I was sleeping

Space in between the sentences.

I Mary May.Sat up and

Shouldn't that be a comma?

I Mary May, sat up and

It makes more sense this way.

I woke,but didn't

No space in between the sentences.

I woke, but didn't

Space in between the sentences.

ear,"hush,tommorow brings anew"She

1.No space after the comma. 2. No capital letter. 3. No full stop. 4. No space after the speaking mark.

ear, "Hush,tommorow brings anew." She

All things corrected.

And so on.

 

[GotchiGirl96]

^ Mhm. I'll rewrite it for you the grammatically correct way.

As the wind tore at my windows and thunder stomped along the wind, I was sleeping in a restless state. All of the sudden I woke, but didn't open my eyes. I heard my mother whisper in my ear, "Hush, tommorow brings anew." She tipoed back to her room. I heard a door close and my eyes popped open. I, Mary May, sat up and looked at my cat stretch and show her little pink tongue.

Notice the corrections I made, and hopefully that will help you out when you write more of your story.

 

[~Yogurt~]

Thanks you.So other than gramer,is it ok?

 

[GotchiGirl96]

^ Yep, after I read it over with the corrections added, I liked the way it sounded. You've got an interesting beginning. Definitely potential.

Also, I meant tiptoed, not tipoed. xD

 

[~Yogurt~]

XD.Thanks,I need that boost,you made my day.

 

[~Yogurt~]

How bout,

As the Wind tore at my windows and thunder crashed,I had been tossing and turning in a restless state.Earlier that day,I had gotten into a fight With The Scullen boy across the street,and I got made fun of and picked on in every kind of way.My mother, Jessica Alborn, had known.She mustv'e heard me turning because I heard footsteps then a small chocked voice whiperd "Shhhh,tommorow brings anew".Then the foots steps got quieter and quieter until I couldn't here them at all.I woke up this morning to the russtle of my two brothers,Jack and micheal.as I tiptoed downstairs,my mother as on the phone.She hung up.But when I said 'good morning' she ignored me and walked off,whats wrong?

Thats all I got.