Boy trouble xP

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GirlzRule

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My situation is a little complicated, I'll do my best to explain without confusing you guys.

I'm thirteen years old. I've never had a boyfriend though I've gotten pretty close. I knew a boy named Justin ever since third grade (going into eighth now). I was so close to asking him out last year (seventh grade). But he transferred schools, and there's a likely chance I'll never see him again.

Thing was, I wasn't just crushing on him, he was also one of my best friends. It was me, Lydia (bestie since 1st grade), Kayla (bestie since 6th), and him. So naturally, like a drama queen, I was torn up. Because he hadn't told me he was going to leave. We'd been friends for five years. I thought he thought of me as a friend. He certainly acted like it. He'd talk to me in class and joke around and stuff. The same sort of way I'd joke around with Lydia.

He'd always stick up for me when this derfwad (dumb name, I know, but this is a family site and we're not allowed to swear) named Brice would harass me and call me a hermaphrodite and stuff. And in sixth grade I realized why I liked being around him so much. I liked him.

And when he was pulled out of my life without warning, I just fell apart. He wasn't just my crush, he was one of my BESTIES. And then I started crawling around flirting with any guy I could get close to.

So I went through a dozen or so half-crushes that lasted about a week or two each. One including a kid a year younger than me. Anyway, I was pretty much a pathetic desperate slut.

And then me and Lydia (Kayla started hating on us right about the time Justin left, so she could be in the popular crowd, so it was just me and Lydia at this point) started hanging out with these two guys, Spencer and Zac. They were best friends like me and Lydia.

They weren't our friends. It wasn't anywhere near as good as when I had Kayla and Justin. The only reason they hung out with us was they were fighting (friend-fighting) over Lydia. Lydia liked Zac. And Zac liked Lydia. And I liked Zac.

When the school year ended, Lydia started dating Zac. I didn't want to break them up. I didn't want to interfere with my bestie's happiness. But where ever I go with Lydia, Zac is always trailing behind her, holding her hand and kissing her and stuff when they think I'm not looking.

It sucks to be around them, not only because I like Zac, envy Lydia (who has exactly what I want, a boyfriend who loves her and her first kiss), and basically have to deal with the awkwardness of being a third wheel, but also because I'm reminded of what I might have had if I'd made my move when Justin was around.

And oh yeah, Matthew sends me Facebook messages all the time like "How are you doing?" "What's up?" "What's your fave flavor of ice cream?" and stuff.

Advice? Anyone?

 
It must be pretty tough to deal with one of your best friends moving away for good. There's really nothing to be done about that, so you just have to cope. Remember that you still have other friends that care about you.

As for the issue with Lydia and Zac, I think you just need to let this relationship run its course. Middle school relationships rarely last, and I can almost guarantee you that they won't grow up and get married. xD Don't worry about not having a boyfriend, it's not as great as it's cracked up to be anyway. Your first kiss? Don't worry about that either. You're only thirteen and you've got your whole life ahead of you. If it makes you feel any better, I haven't had my first kiss either. xD

Your situation really isn't as bad as you think it is. I know from experience that a best friend dragging her boyfriend everywhere isn't fun, but I don't think you should let it interfere with your relationship with her. Like I said, this probably won't last long anyway. Best of luck with everything. :)

 
Wow, GR, you've been going through some serious stuff. Well, let's start from the bottom. Matthew is what we Jews call a קרצית (kar-tzee-a). Just try telling him that you're usually very busy and for him to only contact you if there's something really important.

Lydia and Zac, that's like a drama. If I know anything from hanging around with girls all the time (no, I'm not gay), it's that you don't want to tell her you feel that way. Or at least, not until later.

The only big piece of advice is try calling Justin up, hanging out with him. You don't need to be in the same school to be his girlfriend. In fact, this will give you guys more to talk about- the different things that happen at each others' schools.

Good luck.

-T

 
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Just let them continue dating and don't interfere. Teen relationships don't usually last.

One of my best friends started dating this guy. They were exactly how you described. Constantly kissing, holding hand and cuddling in public. It lasted on and off for just over a month.

Try to think of them both as your best friends and try to have fun when your with them. I totally understand you feeling like the third wheel. If Spencer is his best friend, he's with you three aswell, no? You could try hanging out with him?

 
"just like every other thirteen year old"? Please, I'm 15 and I haven't even started dating yet. I'm not saying 13 is way too young or anything, but don't get so desperate. Like someone else said, teen relationships rarely last anyway, so let it go. Let them be happy for a while. And you're only 13, you don't have to rush into things. Enjoy your childhood while it lasts. Work on building lifetime friendships and stuff now. Like I said, I'm 15, and I already miss the years gone by when i was a kid.

 
Thanks so much for all your advice, guys. Matthew stopped bothering me yesterday, I heard he's dating some girl now.

Spencer doesn't hang out with us. He lives in some other town like fifteen miles away and we haven't seen him all summer. Normally when we hang out, it's me, Lydia, Zac, and his little sister Kierstyn, at the pool.

And I'm not sure what's going to happen with Justin. He transferred schools. He still lives in the area. He and Zac are friends. I've tried contacting him but he doesn't answer me.

The thing with Zac and Lydia, I don't even KNOW anymore. When I was on vacation, he told me over Yahoo, and I quote

"...most of the guys at our school look for looks which you would be in the top ten."

So I was completely freaking out as you can imagine, and I sent this to Lydia. And she called me. She was totally calm. She already knew I liked Zac and her non-reaction was a bit weird. And then she told me

"I'll be happy for you if he likes you back."

 
I have absolutely no idea. They're dating. They're still happy. I think Lydia's just a little on the freak-show side (I mean that in the most friendly, not-mean way possible).

Oh, and two days ago when I went to the salon, Lydia and Zac went to the pool, and SAW JUSTIN. If I hadn't gotten my hair done that day I could have seen him!

And let's not forget the fact that Zac told Justin that I liked him. How the heck he found out I have no idea.

 
I'm still in primary school and I'm used to this stuff, since this is your post I'm not going to share my story. My best advice is keep on living life and let future take course. My friend was going out with the guy I had a crush on, she noticed and then by the next day I was going out with him XD

 
Hmmm that's really complicated, cute about the facebook messages :blink:

I know it's been over used, but be yourself, and I don't mean the way the saying goes, I mean be yourself because you won't be able to keep the act up if you try to change. If he really likes you more than a friend, go for it! But if he doesn't like you that way, you'll just have to deal with it, first find out if he has a girlfriend before/if you ask him out. :D

 
Paisleypuppy - I totally agree - I'll be 15 in November and I miss my childhood more than anything in the world - the total innocence of Christmas time especially :)

 
If neither of them like you, it's their problem. Obviously it's hard liking someone that doesn't like you back, but you can't force any of them to have feelings for you.

You're still young, enjoy life before more complications emerge.

 
Paisleypuppy - I totally agree - I'll be 15 in November and I miss my childhood more than anything in the world - the total innocence of Christmas time especially :)
Woot, someone who agrees with me. I don't wanna throw my life away to the intense drama of dating yet, I'm happy now and I'm focusing on schoolwork and i have amazing friends. I also miss that things were so much more exciting as a child than they were now and the innocence and all, but even now there's a lot of things that I can be excited about- high school you never know what happens- and generally my life's still a lot of fun.

 
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