divorce

[mashedpotatoesve]

have you or your parents ever been in a divorce? mine are in the process....

 

[SugaryGoesRAWR]

MINE ALMOST DID BUT THEN I WAS LIKE 'LOLNOPE'

 

[direngrey]

no. but i always say i never see my daddy because he works 7 days a week and people always ask if my parents are separated i think it's sad when parents separate

 

[Cassette]

When I was 7 my parents got divorced and me and my 2 brothers lived with dad. My mum moved out to a flat in another village close by so we could visit her. When i was 8 and my bros where 5 my mum left and we haven't had contact with her since but my dad has a new wife and she's really nice and me and 2 brothers like her loads.

 

[jordboss]

My parents were never married. When I was born they split up when I was just 11 weeks old. My mum then got with my step dad who's like my dad. I love him and call him my dad

 

[dazzilitchigirl]

There's a kid in my class who suddenly said one day "my parents are getting married on New Year's Eve!" Everyone asked him questions and it turned out his parents were never married.

 

[booboo1]

Nope, and I really hope they don't! My parents argue a lot but you can still tell that they love each other. <3

My friends parents weren't married either, and she ended up going to their wedding. It's not really a surprise, some people just choose to wait to get married.

 

[SugaryGoesRAWR]

turns out my parents were never married

 

[jasen221]

My parents were at the brink of being divorced once, and it already stung so badly.

They reconstructed their marriage.

But lately they've been idiots about it.

Dad never trusts mom and mom has NO patience with dad.

So sometimes I fear it'll happen soon that they divorce.

I really feel sorry for kid's parents who have divorced. The pang of pain I felt when my parents were at the edge was terribly hurting me. I can only imagine what it's like when it really happens... ):

 

[gamergirl_13]

My Dad has always been like me. Depressive, Manically happy sometimes, reckless.

My Mum and Dad had been in the process of splitting for months, which made it less painful for me and my little brother. Nobody actually does understand until they've been through it. That makes it so much worse. as my parents did it gradually, I can't imagine how it must feel to have to suddenly manage on your own. I probably caused it with all my mental problems.

~Grace

 

[purpurn]

My Dad has always been like me. Depressive, Manically happy sometimes, reckless.

My Mum and Dad had been in the process of splitting for months, which made it less painful for me and my little brother. Nobody actually does understand until they've been through it. That makes it so much worse. as my parents did it gradually, I can't imagine how it must feel to have to suddenly manage on your own. I probably caused it with all my mental problems.

~Grace

Dear Grace,

Please take solace in the fact that it isn't your fault that your parents gradually got separated. I'm 24 now, but I left my parents home when I was 18. About the time that I was 19 or 20 my siblings told me that my parents ALMOST split up because of me and the things that I was/did to them (which was nothing at all - I simply left as soon as I could, I will explain in a bit.). This was utter bullcrap.

People only split up because there is something that isn't going right between them and only them. Sometimes the best thing two people can do is split up. I've known families that are split up and are actually pretty happy. And I've known families that the parents stay together "for the children" and are completely miserable.

I've been in bad relationships in the past and tried to make it work cause I didn't have a very good understanding of how a truly loving and respectful relationship looked or felt like. I think that I learned that from my parents. My mother can be a very angry aggressive woman and my father is generally more of a talk it out rather than yell his head off at you kinda guy. My mother always made us feel like crap when I was growing up and I grew to hate and fear her more than think of her as my mother. I spent time dating and being engaged to a guy who didn't treat me well and with the respect I deserved because I was "taught" that I didn't deserve that. My mother always used to say that I should be self sufficient and in the next moment she would berate me for things that other kids got a slap on the wrists for (like getting a C+ on a report card).

Finally after high school, I didn't end up going to college cause I had no esteem to do so cause of my mother. I was sleeping in one morning partially due to depression and lack of enthusiasm and my mother barged into my room and stripped my bedding off and started to hit me cause I didn't want to get up to go get lunch at the mall with her. I left my parents house after that and slept in a friends basement till I got a job where I made enough to get my own apartment. I didn't tell my parents that I had left cause I just wanted to get out and leave. But apparently I had caused them so much grief and strife between them that they were going to divorce. I felt more comfortable talking with my father than my mother and she loathed him for it. That's an issue with them - not me.

They are still married, but I still know that they are not happy totally with each other and if they decided to split I would support them whole heartily and encourage them to be happier and follow what they really wanted to. I always get depressed talking either to my mother or my father cause I just hear about why they are unhappy at the time. And just like my parents are actually unhappy with each other I was unhappy with my ex-fiance - so we split up. No one else had a hand in it - WE were unhappy. And it can happen to any couple. Sometimes things start out okay, but sometimes it's just not meant to be.

So please NEVER think that you are the cause of the actions of your parents - they are responsible for themselves and their own actions and feelings. The only person you can control is yourself and no one else. Sometimes divorce can be the better thing for everyone involved even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

-Purn

 

[gamergirl_13]

Dear Grace,

Please take solace in the fact that it isn't your fault that your parents gradually got separated. I'm 24 now, but I left my parents home when I was 18. About the time that I was 19 or 20 my siblings told me that my parents ALMOST split up because of me and the things that I was/did to them (which was nothing at all - I simply left as soon as I could, I will explain in a bit.). This was utter bullcrap.

People only split up because there is something that isn't going right between them and only them. Sometimes the best thing two people can do is split up. I've known families that are split up and are actually pretty happy. And I've known families that the parents stay together "for the children" and are completely miserable.

I've been in bad relationships in the past and tried to make it work cause I didn't have a very good understanding of how a truly loving and respectful relationship looked or felt like. I think that I learned that from my parents. My mother can be a very angry aggressive woman and my father is generally more of a talk it out rather than yell his head off at you kinda guy. My mother always made us feel like crap when I was growing up and I grew to hate and fear her more than think of her as my mother. I spent time dating and being engaged to a guy who didn't treat me well and with the respect I deserved because I was "taught" that I didn't deserve that. My mother always used to say that I should be self sufficient and in the next moment she would berate me for things that other kids got a slap on the wrists for (like getting a C+ on a report card).

Finally after high school, I didn't end up going to college cause I had no esteem to do so cause of my mother. I was sleeping in one morning partially due to depression and lack of enthusiasm and my mother barged into my room and stripped my bedding off and started to hit me cause I didn't want to get up to go get lunch at the mall with her. I left my parents house after that and slept in a friends basement till I got a job where I made enough to get my own apartment. I didn't tell my parents that I had left cause I just wanted to get out and leave. But apparently I had caused them so much grief and strife between them that they were going to divorce. I felt more comfortable talking with my father than my mother and she loathed him for it. That's an issue with them - not me.

They are still married, but I still know that they are not happy totally with each other and if they decided to split I would support them whole heartily and encourage them to be happier and follow what they really wanted to. I always get depressed talking either to my mother or my father cause I just hear about why they are unhappy at the time. And just like my parents are actually unhappy with each other I was unhappy with my ex-fiance - so we split up. No one else had a hand in it - WE were unhappy. And it can happen to any couple. Sometimes things start out okay, but sometimes it's just not meant to be.

So please NEVER think that you are the cause of the actions of your parents - they are responsible for themselves and their own actions and feelings. The only person you can control is yourself and no one else. Sometimes divorce can be the better thing for everyone involved even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

-Purn

I feel so, so much better about it now<3

Thanks x

~Grace

 

[purpurn]

I feel so, so much better about it now<3

Thanks x

~Grace

Just tryin' tah help a sista out!

The guilt I felt over things that weren't my fault screwed me up for a long couple of years until I started to realize that it had nothing to do with me really. I'd rather save others from that if I can cause I can never get that time of my life back. I'm a much happier and free feeling person now. My families problems are not mine - the only person I can satisfy and make happy is myself - they are on their own as far as their happiness.

-Purn

 

[Happytamafan]

My parents are in the process, so it dosent hurt as much

 

[StenoTim]

My parents have never even had a "real argument" in front of me or my siblings. They're that perfect match that I'm not sure I could ever achieve.

...it sort of makes it hard to live up to, having the expectations of the perfect relationship like that, but I've found a really amazing guy and I'm hoping I can someday have what they have.

 

[Amat Gotchi]

Years ago, after a lot of fighting, my parents decided to get divorced. I was REALLY upset about it, and I cried pretty often for this reason. Once my parents stopped living together, one of them got what I see as the short end of the stick: they got fairly poor and couldn't find a good job (in the hard economic times). They were sad, I was sad, it took quite a toll on my life. My other parent was truly enjoying being single, which also made me upset. I was pretty afraid for the parent who was losing money.

But then things started looking up. After some traveling, this parent finally found a job, one that they love. They live far away, but I go and visit occasionally. And I think that, after all the trials and tribulations, ups and downs of marriage and divorce, each parent has finally found happiness, and I have, too. One of my parents is now in a relationship, and for that I couldn't be more thankful; their significant other is super-smart and just plain awesome.

So in short, I have gone through a divorce, a fairly difficult one, and though it means my parents don't have the same harmony they once had, they don't fight anymore. Sometimes marriages just don't work out, and divorce CAN bring good, despite the heartache it causes.

Edit: in case you're wondering, I wanted this post to be pretty anonymous; that's why my parents are not specified.

 

[Hardcore Tama]

I believe my parent's got divorced I was in the third grade. My parents always fought and it was very upsetting and traumatic. The most important thing for you to know is that their separation is not because of you. My dad is very mentally abusive, crude, and sexist. I switch from each parent's house every Friday with my brothers. It feels like furniture. If you're young you need to try to explain to your parents how you feel about it. If you ever need a person to talk to I'm open.

 

[purpurn]

My parents have never even had a "real argument" in front of me or my siblings. They're that perfect match that I'm not sure I could ever achieve.

...it sort of makes it hard to live up to, having the expectations of the perfect relationship like that, but I've found a really amazing guy and I'm hoping I can someday have what they have.

Well, just cause couples don't fight doesn't mean the relationship is perfect. I mean your parents probably still have differences of opinion from time to time, they just work it out together in a calm and respectful way (hopefully). My husband and I don't always see eye to eye on things, but we rarely get into really crazy ridiculous fights. Usually we try and be as open as we can and talk things out rather than yell it. Sometimes we just have to agree to disagree or sometimes just drop a conversation altogether for the moment before we explode, but we always come back and talk it all out once things have settled.

-Purn

 

[katie_bug]

Aw I hope your okay. Yes, my parents are divorced. I have since then taken my step-dads last name. I'm happy At first I was always with my real dad but he started acting strange and staying out and got with a weird lady..

 

[XxX KennyLover XxX]

My parents got divorced when I was 6 or 7. I don't like my dad so for me it didn't matter he was leaving. My mum then married her now husband, we all hate him, including mum. We now have social workers on our case because of incidents with him and mum. Even before the wedding he called it off twice. I don't quite know what to say about him but he usually goes to the pub everyday coming back drunk then shouting at me, mum and my brother. There are loads of stories about him but I'm too tired to post them, I've been up since 7:40am yesterday and it's now 4:25pm.