Becca Juice
Well-known member
My parents don't let me do anything.
I know. Another one of those topics. But I really need suggestions on how to deal with it.
Okay, so here are the issues. I will explain them one at a time so they aren't too confusing.
• Boundaries. I can understand boundaries, but I enjoy being able to like, go places. She has kept me in this block, this 'cul-du-sac' for pretty much my whole life. I have never been more than a block or so away from my home without supervision before, and I want to, because being in this house every moment of every day is just not good. I need to get my energy out, and I need to feel more free, and less like a bird in a cage.
• My own room. So, my dad is living in the basement, and my grandmother is living where my room used to be. I am in the same bed with my mom. I want to sleep on the couch, or something, anything. But I really want my own room. The attic space is nice and large, the temperature can be dealt with, but she absolutely refuses to let me have my own room. I hate it D: I mean, we fight a lot, and when we are feuding, I don't need to be in the same room with her. When I am in the same room with her when we are arguing, it leaves me to simmer and I get even more pi**ed off. I really really really want my own room, and when there is an open room in the house, I don't see why she is so dead-set on me not having a place of my own.
• Image. She wont let me choose the way I dress, or look. I want to dye my hair every so often, or wear a different style of clothing, she wont allow it. She controls everything in this aspect, and I needed to fight her for weeks to get her to buy even a single bottle of demi-permanent hair dye. She still brings me shopping, but if it isn't pink, or pastel, she considers it odd, and is reluctant to buy it. I mean, everyone has their opinions, but it is my body. She insists that I am wrong. In her words, I portray the family, and until I am eighteen, I am her property, and she can portray me as she wants. I think that is TOTALLY screwed up. I need to be free at LEAST to my image and style, and personality.
• Criticism. She is constantly observing and pointing out every flaw I have. I mean, she says she does it for a reason, and she says she tries hard not to offend me, and such, but that is hard for me to believe when she gets all ticked off at me for the dumbest things. Just last night, she got mad at me for wearing my bra to bed. She said it was one more odd thing that I added to my list of 'Ticks'. Then, she made this huge list of every flaw I had, and said that I was out of place, and such and such, and that I was odd, at which point I went mute for a little while. Finally speaking again, because I wouldn't want to disappoint her even more by adding 'mute' to my list of 'ticks' for her to explain to my doctor.
The point here is that she is really the only one who sees these issues. Why can't she just accept the fact that I can't help my flaws? The ticks come with the person. Why can't she just accept me?
• Religion. I don't believe in the Catholic // Christian church at all anymore. Yet mom and dad, starting this sunday, are making me go back to a Christian // Catholic church. This wouldn't tick me off so much, besides the fact that I have told my mother my religious views, and by heart I am Wiccan. But they are thumping the bible down my throat. I mean, they can believe what ever they want, but they are denying me my faith and my life. That really makes me angry.
What I am trying to say, I know there are people much worse off than me. My parents have never hit me, they are decent people, but in each of these subjects, how do I tell them that they are suffocating the whole of who I am, and what I want to be?
I need help.
I know. Another one of those topics. But I really need suggestions on how to deal with it.
Okay, so here are the issues. I will explain them one at a time so they aren't too confusing.
• Boundaries. I can understand boundaries, but I enjoy being able to like, go places. She has kept me in this block, this 'cul-du-sac' for pretty much my whole life. I have never been more than a block or so away from my home without supervision before, and I want to, because being in this house every moment of every day is just not good. I need to get my energy out, and I need to feel more free, and less like a bird in a cage.
• My own room. So, my dad is living in the basement, and my grandmother is living where my room used to be. I am in the same bed with my mom. I want to sleep on the couch, or something, anything. But I really want my own room. The attic space is nice and large, the temperature can be dealt with, but she absolutely refuses to let me have my own room. I hate it D: I mean, we fight a lot, and when we are feuding, I don't need to be in the same room with her. When I am in the same room with her when we are arguing, it leaves me to simmer and I get even more pi**ed off. I really really really want my own room, and when there is an open room in the house, I don't see why she is so dead-set on me not having a place of my own.
• Image. She wont let me choose the way I dress, or look. I want to dye my hair every so often, or wear a different style of clothing, she wont allow it. She controls everything in this aspect, and I needed to fight her for weeks to get her to buy even a single bottle of demi-permanent hair dye. She still brings me shopping, but if it isn't pink, or pastel, she considers it odd, and is reluctant to buy it. I mean, everyone has their opinions, but it is my body. She insists that I am wrong. In her words, I portray the family, and until I am eighteen, I am her property, and she can portray me as she wants. I think that is TOTALLY screwed up. I need to be free at LEAST to my image and style, and personality.
• Criticism. She is constantly observing and pointing out every flaw I have. I mean, she says she does it for a reason, and she says she tries hard not to offend me, and such, but that is hard for me to believe when she gets all ticked off at me for the dumbest things. Just last night, she got mad at me for wearing my bra to bed. She said it was one more odd thing that I added to my list of 'Ticks'. Then, she made this huge list of every flaw I had, and said that I was out of place, and such and such, and that I was odd, at which point I went mute for a little while. Finally speaking again, because I wouldn't want to disappoint her even more by adding 'mute' to my list of 'ticks' for her to explain to my doctor.
The point here is that she is really the only one who sees these issues. Why can't she just accept the fact that I can't help my flaws? The ticks come with the person. Why can't she just accept me?
• Religion. I don't believe in the Catholic // Christian church at all anymore. Yet mom and dad, starting this sunday, are making me go back to a Christian // Catholic church. This wouldn't tick me off so much, besides the fact that I have told my mother my religious views, and by heart I am Wiccan. But they are thumping the bible down my throat. I mean, they can believe what ever they want, but they are denying me my faith and my life. That really makes me angry.
What I am trying to say, I know there are people much worse off than me. My parents have never hit me, they are decent people, but in each of these subjects, how do I tell them that they are suffocating the whole of who I am, and what I want to be?
I need help.
