Friend/boyfriend issues..

[mimitchis_rock13579]

OK well I have a friend. Let's call her M for now. I also have a boyfriend, we'll call him C for now. M has been my best friend for four years, and seemingly even like a sister rather than a friend beginning about 1 1/2 years ago. She's inspired me to aim for becoming a vet, go vegetarian, join the swim team, to name a few. But my friend doesn't know that I'm dating C. I have been going out with C for almost two weeks. I'd gone out with C before, in 7th grade, but once M found out she made me break up with C because he, as M said, would hurt me. IDK how, she didn't say.

I think M is becoming a little overbearing. For example when I tell her I like a guy, she says something to make me unhappy or insecure about liking said guy. It's happened four times over the past year. She's even petty about food (she made me give up chocolate for Lent this year).

Sometimes I think my sister, Christina, was right. She made up a theory that M is jealous of me because

• I got into Algebra I, an advanced course, this year and she didn't
  
• My parents aren't divorced
  
• I've had more boyfriends than her
  
• I've never had acne
  
• My family is richer than hers
  
• I got 2nd out of my school in the Geo Bee
  

But I don't want to straightfoward ask her if she's jealous.

I need advice, as I already said: what should I do? Should I tell M about C, or perhaps that I think M is jealous of me, or maybe break up with C (again), or what?

Thank you for your advice and time,

Alyssa

 

[dragon_warrior_1835]

Hm, being honest, this is a really hard situation... Much harder to give advice. Let's see...

You can try seeing your friend M as others see her. Is she a really good friend like you say? Or is she really just using you? Trust me, I know how much it hurts when you realize that your best friend was just using you to get what she wants. I realized that when I was in 6th grade, the first time we, as best friends, were split up into different classes. Then, I realized that my mom was right about my friend just using me. She never called like before, and like we promised each other to. We drifted apart, and I eventually got more friends, growing more confident. This year, she's in my class, and we're friends. Not as close as before, but I don't mind. I choose my friends more carefully now.

But that's going off topic. Moving on...

I can't answer the question about C, your boyfriend, because I've never had one before. ((There's another story about how I told my crush I liked him, but that's off topic...))

My best advice is to think carefully about the choices you might make and the consequences. Personally, I think that you should examine your friend, find other friends *just in case*, and maybe talk to your boyfriend about it. But, if you stil need help, feel free to PM me, 'cause I usually go on Tamatalk every other day, as well as my emails and such...

Well, anyways, Good luck!

Oh, and by the way: (this is if you still are, that is) I'm also 14 and in 8th Grade...

 

[mimitchis_rock13579]

Hm, being honest, this is a really hard situation... Much harder to give advice. Let's see...
You can try seeing your friend M as others see her. Is she a really good friend like you say? Or is she really just using you? Trust me, I know how much it hurts when you realize that your best friend was just using you to get what she wants. I realized that when I was in 6th grade, the first time we, as best friends, were split up into different classes. Then, I realized that my mom was right about my friend just using me. She never called like before, and like we promised each other to. We drifted apart, and I eventually got more friends, growing more confident. This year, she's in my class, and we're friends. Not as close as before, but I don't mind. I choose my friends more carefully now.

But that's going off topic. Moving on...

I can't answer the question about C, your boyfriend, because I've never had one before. ((There's another story about how I told my crush I liked him, but that's off topic...))

My best advice is to think carefully about the choices you might make and the consequences. Personally, I think that you should examine your friend, find other friends *just in case*, and maybe talk to your boyfriend about it. But, if you stil need help, feel free to PM me, 'cause I usually go on Tamatalk every other day, as well as my emails and such...

Well, anyways, Good luck!

Oh, and by the way: (this is if you still are, that is) I'm also 14 and in 8th Grade...

Thank you. I'll think carefully about the consequences of what I do from now on, as you said.

 

[tomrules74185296]

[SIZE=21pt]I would go for just datin your boyfriend. Even though she is a great friend, she insn't a dictator. You decide what u want 2 do with it. I would go for the boyfriend cuz if she makes you break up with your boyfriend then there is somethin wrong with her. She isn't a good friend if she threatens u 2 break up with your boyfriend. I no this is wierd, outdated, and nerdy, but, just tell her MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Its your decision to go out with this dude so do it. She has ABOSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to mess with u like that. [/SIZE]

 

Now it depends how good of boyfriend/girlfriend ur with this guy. Because if da guy ur datin has like a problem or is emo or somethin that kould hurt u, maybe your friend is just trying to help u from a bad guy. But, if the guy ur datin really LIKES/LOVES u and has really no problem and would never hurt u than your friend has da problem.

 

C what im sayin????

 

I can make people do anything LOL...

 

PM me for better help....

 

GOOD LUCK

 

P.S.-Im ur age so I should no....

 

[blue♣slip]

......has like a problem or is emo or somethin that kould hurt u, maybe your friend is just trying to help u from a bad guy.......

can we say....

"stereyotype"?

go out with him, and take control of your friendship.

not the whole thing.....but you know, your half.

 

[tomrules74185296]

lol thats me writin big...

I guess i could agree with da poster above me...

 

[KagomeGrl445]

idk, maybe you should tell her, but let her know its ur life and you can handle it. she could be jealous a little, but if shes ur friend that shoodnt interfere

 

[tosakatchigal]

I would stand up for my rights, tell her that it's kind of anoying whenever she tells you what to do. If she starts to act mean, she could be using you, or maybe not such a good friend after all...you never know, I've had friends like this too. Hope this helps...

 

[Evicous]

Are you sure M is a real friend?

I had friends in 6th grade that I was really close to. We were the school comedians, always coming up with a new joke or prank and unloading it on someone.

But then I got to 7th grade and we were in different classes across the board. We never talked to each other after that, and I'm sure that that person could care less about that I exist.

(Of course I don't care NOW but it mattered to me within the first month of school.)

So really you need to think that, if you and M moved away from each other would you keep in touch? If you wouldn't you probably shouldn't listen to what she's saying. But if you are positive you WOULD you should really take careful consideration in what she says.

 

[mimitchis_rock13579]

Now it depends how good of boyfriend/girlfriend ur with this guy. Because if da guy ur datin has like a problem or is emo or somethin that could hurt u, maybe your friend is just trying to help u from a bad guy. But, if the guy ur datin really LIKES/LOVES u and has really no problem and would never hurt u than your friend has da problem.

Well a lot of kids (including M and almost everyone in the 8th grade) think of my boyfriend as somewhat belligerent (sp?), but he's really nice around me. And funny. So I wouldn't know, perhaps M has a problem? I'm not sure.

Thing is, what I'm doing right now is just thinking very carefully about my actions and what I tell M or any of my other friends. If only my friends were OK with C, things would be so much easier!