Influences

[DemonSlayer5050]

When i say influences I mean serious ones. Such as drug influences, cheating, etc. I am in 7th grade and some people are saying the influences are going to start if they havent already. I want to know how to deal with them. I mean of course I can say no but some how that never works. What would you do if someone asked you to do drugs, or cheat, or steal etc.? What would you say, do, etc. I really wanna know so i can be prepared when it happens to me.

 

[jappyx]

You just need to be true to yourself and make sure you don't give into peer pressure etc.

If your friend is asking you to start taking up drugs (or something) and you know that they aren't good for you, you simply need to be polite and say your not interested. If they continually harass you and force you into it; then do you really think they are really worth keeping as a friend? Should a friend drive you down a road that can be harmful for your health / safety and is hard to get out of?

Just try not to do anything your not comfortable with. Lots of people are pressured / influenced into sex, drugs, stealing etc, when they really do not want to. But they are afraid to lose their friends if they don't conform to the actions around them.

Remember, drugs are dangerous, and stealing etc is bad, its not worth it.

Hope this helps, feel free to ask further questions.

 

[Raichi]

In fifth grade some guy was trying to get me to smoke. :/

I spent my whole weekend trying to figure out ways to say no, when all I really had to say was just that. No. When I came back to school I said that and he just said, "Whatever." And didn't care all that much.

Though, if your friend keeps pushing you, (Like jappyx said) they arent your friend. And if they threaten not to be your friend anymore, just say 'ok,' because they aren't worth ruining your life over.

 

[Cinderpelt]

I've been fortunate not to really have any major-pressure situations so far in my middle/high school experience (I am a freshman this year). You just need to stay with your close group of friends. If you have a close-knit, good support group behind you, you'll be fine(;

Just go with what you know is right. And as jappyx said, if your friend continueally pressures you to get into drugs, are they really worth keeping? And if a boyfriend/girlfriend completely pressures you for sex, are they really worth dating? That's a personal choice, but most people agree that a friend wouldn't try to lead you down the wrong path.

 

[bratztroxg]

You mean peer pressure? Yeah, that's a big problem. I'm a strong person and know that I will never take drugs, smoke, do pre-marital sex, etc, for a so-called "friend". If they try to make me do something like that, they can kiss my friendship goodbye. Because people like that are NOT friends. No matter how much they mean to you at the moment, are you seriously going to let them ruin your life over a friendship threat in middle school?

 

[Awesome_xD]

Your going to get peer-pressured. Now, later.....but it's especially bad in highschool.

Every single kid on this site will get peer-pressured. It's guaranteed. Whether you choose to say no or give in, is up to you.

It's hard. Growing up, wanting to fit in, be cool.....and sometimes, you don't know your boundaries. You may think, "Well, by having this one smoke I'll be cool." Yeah, maybe you will be considered cool if you take that one smoke. But will it really be worth it years from now when your dying from lung cancer?

Or, maybe you'll be considered cool if you take that drink. But it won't be worth it years from now when you kill a family's life by drunk driving.

Every choice you make in your life will affect you. You need to learn to be a leader, not a follower.

To say, "NO." To know your personal limits. I know that alot of people I am friends with now, will end up doing drugs, drinking or smoking.

The first few years of high school are crucial....it's when you figure out who you are as a person, and where you fit in. Times are real hard then. Everyone is telling you what to do. Your like a small fish in a big pond. You want to be SOMEBODY. You'll have to make tough life choices like pre-marital sex, doing illegal drugs, smoking, and more.

It's going to be hard not to give in.

If you were a freshman, trying to belong, imagine yourself with a group of kids you thought were cool, and they accepted you. If they suggested to do something you were against, would you follow along with it? Would you? You might be thinking, "Of course not!", but when the time comes, it's one of the hardest things to say no to.

It doesn't JUST happen in high-school. It happens to children in all grades, of all ages, of races. Even to adults. We can't stop it from happening. We just need to figure out who we are, and realize we don't NEED certain people in our lives to be successful.

 

[TamaMum]

... I mean of course I can say no but some how that never works. What would you do if someone asked you to do drugs, or cheat, or steal etc.? What would you say, do, etc. I really wanna know so i can be prepared when it happens to me.

I think you're being pretty realistic about all this

You know it is probably going to happen to you sometime and you're trying to think of ways to say no that won't totally destroy your cool quotient amongst your peer group/friends.

You're right. It's incredibly difficult to just say no.

You might try to think about different phrases or actions that would allow you to walk away from a bad situation with your dignity intact.

One of the keys to it is to get yourself away from the situation as quickly as possible so there's no further chance for you to be persuaded more or to get into an argument about why you are saying no.

It depends on the situation and what you're being asked to do. Think about how you act with different friends and different moods.

Sometimes, it could be as simple as putting on your "uber" bored / "cool" emo face, shrugging, rolling your eyes and saying something like "This is sooo boring.. I'm soooo bored" or perhaps "meh... I'm just not interested" then turning and walking away.

Otherwise, it might be putting on a peppy, incredulous face and saying "ZZZOMG!" and laughing out loud, adding in a teasing/jokey way "I can't believe you said that! OMG! OMG! No way! No way! I'm outta here!!" and then turning and walking away (or even running away in a funny, spazzy way).

Anyway, there are different ways to say no. Don't expect it to be easy. It's not. But lots of people manage to avoid the bad influences without giving in to peer pressure.

The important thing is that they walk away and don't get into discussions about why they don't want to

 

[CarlyQuinn]

Saying no isn't always easy. But if someone offers you a smoke or anything like that just for a quick minute, before you take it, think of your future. If you already have good grades it will all go to waste if you take it. Or if someone wants you to help them cheat, I know you don't wanna lose their friendship but think of all you achieved. If you cheat you could get a 0 or something. Think of YOUR consequences, and future, then decide if taking a smoke, or cheating is the best way.

♣Carly♣Quinn♣