ME My friend's therapist

[KagomeGrl445]

My Friend was dating a guy that she really liked. Then about a month ago he dumped her. She was devastated. But she became more depressed when one of her best friends betrayed her and started going out with him. So now she is still sad and i have to be like a therapist to her. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to snap her out of it? ( don't say make her date other guys cause she did but dumped him an hour later because she said she still wasn't over him) Please help!

 

[tamaw/pants]

Number one- You cannot be your friend's therapist. You have to be her friend. You can't make her snap out of it and if this is an ongoing deal, she needs real help from a real therapist.

I can tell you how to be a better friend in these situations, though.

-Be willing to listen. Even if she goes on and on, just sit and listen. Sometimes you just need to rant to somebody, ya know?

-Ask thought provoking questions. Ask how she wants to handle this, etc.

-Be on her side. If she is crying, tell her that he is not worthy of her. Whatever you do, don't say, you'll get over it. That's a no no because even though she will, it probably feels like the end of the world to her. That doesn't mean make hate groups against her ex or this friend, but don't challenge her in these desperate times.

-If she can't get out of this and it's been going on for some time, encourage her to ask her parents about talking to a trained counselor/therapist.

Remember, it's not up to you to change her- you can't do it. What you can do is be there for her and if she needs real help, help her to get it.

 

[KagomeGrl445]

Thank you for writing! and I dont want to be her therapist I want to be her friend but it's so hard. and She acts like he's everything and stuff and i just want her to get past this so everything can be the way it was

 

[kk445]

In My Point Of View, Going Through This Problem with you, I would Say Dont Be her therapist, but just being there to hear what she has to say. She always Says she is over him, But she really isnt.

 

[TigerLily013]

Number one- You cannot be your friend's therapist. You have to be her friend. You can't make her snap out of it and if this is an ongoing deal, she needs real help from a real therapist.
I can tell you how to be a better friend in these situations, though.

-Be willing to listen. Even if she goes on and on, just sit and listen. Sometimes you just need to rant to somebody, ya know?

-Ask thought provoking questions. Ask how she wants to handle this, etc.

-Be on her side. If she is crying, tell her that he is not worthy of her. Whatever you do, don't say, you'll get over it. That's a no no because even though she will, it probably feels like the end of the world to her. That doesn't mean make hate groups against her ex or this friend, but don't challenge her in these desperate times.

-If she can't get out of this and it's been going on for some time, encourage her to ask her parents about talking to a trained counselor/therapist.

Remember, it's not up to you to change her- you can't do it. What you can do is be there for her and if she needs real help, help her to get it.

I agree with all this, and I also will add is you can't help the unwilling. Some people when they get in a huge downer like this it seems like no matter you or someone else tries, its hard to get them out of it. When they are READY to listen and move on, then you will know. It sounds like your friend needs to be ready to snap out of it before anything else. Let her vent and stuff to you if she wishes, as that's the best support you can give her right now.

I know it was hard for me seeing friends who were in this kind of downer, and it's hard for you too, but know you are doing your best and just being there for her instead of giving her advice and stuff is enough right now. I'm suggesting if she asks for the advice, then give it out, otherwise just support her. Hug her. Do nice things for her. Listen. When she herself is ready to come around, encourage it

 

[GotchiGirl96]

I think that you should just be there for your friend. Listen to her, and comfort her when she needs it.

 

[greyrainbow-]

My Friend was dating a guy that she really liked. Then about a month ago he dumped her. She was devastated. But she became more depressed when one of her best friends betrayed her and started going out with him. So now she is still sad and i have to be like a therapist to her. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to snap her out of it? ( don't say make her date other guys cause she did but dumped him an hour later because she said she still wasn't over him) Please help!

[SIZE=7pt]This is gonna sound harsh, but point out things about him that are bad, do you have any stories about something stupid he did?[/SIZE]

 

 

grb-

 

[Hanatchi Lover]

[SIZE=15pt]J[/SIZE]ust don't.
Tell her that she's acting like an idiot and she needs to get on with life.
Life's to short to be pouting around all the time.