" Mental Illnesses "

[Neon Tiger.]

I..

Well, I don't really understand it myself.

It's just, nothing ever captures my imagination.

I don't care for anything.

Not food, not games.

Not people. People are.. in the way.

I don't like sitting down,

I don't like talking.

I want to just run past all these events. Holidays. Parties.

I have friends.

I HAD friends.

But I can't help but frustrate them.

I don't understand gossip, or small talk.

I can't look people in the eye when I speak.

I don't enjoy the same, cheesy things.

It's like I just become distracted.

Because people don't fascinate me.

They're dull, somewhat useless.

My mind is captured by things like the skies, and thunderstorms, and animals, and dreams..

I've become so detatched from the human world.

I don't care for it now.

I never sleep.

It's not like I can't.

It's more like I won't.

I'm scared I'll forget.

Scared everything will start over in that same vicious cycle.

The one that's right behind me, and if I turn back for just one split second, I'm dead meat.

It's not really depression, so much as a fear of slipping back.

I think I'm crazy.

My mind processes thoughts like an animal.

I'm not kidding.

Seriously.

I HAVE A DOG'S TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

Nobody knows.

*Sigh*

 

[Neon Tiger.]

oh and here's more.

I'm animal.

When I'm angry, I bite.

When I'm defensive, I growl.

I roar like anything.

I run on all fours faster than on two feet.

I can bite through wood.

And I spring like an animal.

I feel horrible.

I can't help it.

 

[kk445]

I have a Mentally Challenged Uncle.

He was told as a little boy he would never learn, and they would not accept him in school. My mom told me stories of how My grandmother (His Mom) would teach him with little flash cards. Im not sure if he got into school then. I'm thinking he did.

He does little things like math, reading and writing in his spare time. He is in his Mid-40's, but he acts like a preteen. Any video game lovers? He LOVES Nintendo DS and gameboy. He comes and visits my and my family on Sundays. He lives with my Grandma.

 

[Neon Tiger.]

I don't understand a lot of things.

I can't say.

 

[Band Geek]

I was depressed in 5th grade.

I felt like my failing unfortunate grades were gonna be the death of me.

Then in 6th grade, I was VERY depressed.

Because I had to go for special services. [PT] I would always miss band lessons.

I felt like I wanted to cry, and once I almost cried in front of my BD.

But luckily, I'm not depressed anymore. I don't take special services anymore.

I'm much happier now. But I'm just kinda stressed and humiliated. Sometimes I worry that we'll have to do a jazz scale by ourselves and everyone echos. I swear, I feel like throwing up. I just don't know how to tell my BD that I feel like throwing up every time we do that. And I messed up on my chorus concert. I was in the wrong section, and my Chorus D. noticed. I feel like quitting, but I don't want to be classified as a quitter.

Neon Tiger:

I bite myself, especially if I am harmed.

 

[.Not A Dinosaur]

I honestly think that there's something wrong with me. I got put into Special Ed becuase my Kindergarten teacher thought I had anger problems.

Kids think I'm a total idiot most of the time. They made fun of me because I could barely make friends with someone my own gender -- my friends are all guys anyhow.

You probably think I'm stupid for saying that this made me feel pointless. But it did.

Then, this one girl cornered me in the swimming locker room. She made fun of me because, at the time, I was pretty flat chested. (3rd grade)

Ever since, that same girl has kept it up. I've told every teacher on the staff, and every time she pleads innocent.

Next, I went through some family issues I wouldn't like to talk about. After that, I started going a bit crazy. If someone made fun of me, I'd hurt them. I'd talk to myself and started considering suicide even..

 

[Cullen]

A year or two ago, I think it was a year.

I just, stopped eating, I wouldn't eat anything all day, and the next day I would eat some crackers, and I would feel full. My friends got really worried, so I started forcing myself to eat lunch.. it stopped for a year. It's come back again, I barley eat ANYTHING all day, and when I do, it's very very very little, and this results in me feeling sick, a lot. Of course, I never tell anyone this, they would, I don't even know.

It's very normal, though, me not eating much is very very normal, no one really notices anymore, they've gotten used to my eating habits. Which scares me, if it gets worse, I'm scared they wouldn't notice.

 

[tamaw/pants]

I have a social anxiety disorder. It's not very severe though it is something I do struggle with.

I don't know what my deal was but near the last half of my 8th grade school year I just went through this little phase where I felt really bad and dull. There wasn't any real thing that stuck out that could cause it [like a death or another traumatic event] so I thought maybe it was depression. I think I told my mom starting my 9th grade year or maybe before it. I can't remember. Anyway, I went to see a therapist and I didn't have depression but I felt just so relieved!

Sometimes, at least for me anyway, you just can't talk to things like this to your parents. I'm sure we all have things that we just feel we can't. I was going through a low spot with friends, too, and I can't quite remember it but all I know is I was miserable overall and when I went to see my therapist and she listened and understood just everything in life that was stressing me out I felt so much better.

I got over my little ordeal and I went irregularly to see her. Then I stopped for about 6 months. During that time I developed my social anxiety.

People may not think that a social anxiety would be that bad - even people who have other types - but it is. Most of my world is social. I have to go to school for 7 hours a day and guess what, other people go to school, too [durr, lol!], so imagine sitting in that desk or walking down the hallway just freaked out because you're afraid you'll have one of your mini-'attacks' and how humiliating and embarrassing it will be.

I have my ups and downs though it's especially bad coming back from the break. I'm not on meds and my next appointment is in a week or two and unfortunately I have to switch therapists because of insurance reasons.

 

[Neon Tiger.]

I don't know.

 

[>...Missbehave...<]

Well in P7 (err....6th grade I think...) I moved school and at the new school I made friends at first but it turned out they were just using me because they'd fallen out with one of their other friends. So after they made up with that friend I was ditched. So I was a loner for pretty much the rest of the year. I think the boys took advantage of that so when my Mum forced me to wear a skull cap to school they started calling me Emo. There was this one boy who kept doing it even though I only wore it for one day. He was calling my black socks Emo so I completely flipped. I punched him on the shoulder then threw him against the wall and started kicking him really hard. No one bothered me after that until some girls decided it was funny to shove me in the boys changing room. So then the boys started to call me a girl pervert even though they'd only been putting their jumpers on for god's sake. There was one boy though who punched some one in the face for calling me a pervert and ended up in trouble so I was flattered about that.

When I started High School I made some new friends but there was a boy who I'll call C who kept saying that I had a crush on some one called A (that was a 7 year old thing to do!). At break time I punched him in the face and started chasing him around the corriders wanting to strangle him to death. Another boy called me a whore, Emo, kiddie-feeler and a lesbian simply for being friends with two girls (wtf?!) so I kicked him really hard where the sun don't shine and when he stood up I rammed his head against the table so hard his nose started bleeding.

I don't know what the hell happened. I just thrash around any one who irritates me and I've actually driven a few boys to tears. I'm not sure whether I'm mad, or just high tempered.

 

[cecib]

One of my brothers *appears* to have a mental illness. I, however, don't have one.

It's exactly the same as DemonSlayer said except he doesn't beat me up.

He watches Barney the Dinosaur on YouTube.

... And he's twelve....

Cecib

 

[.Not A Dinosaur]

Believe it or not, someone wrote a suicide note and signed my name on it. I got sent to the office and now the teachers thnik I'm depresssed when I didn't even do anything. D;

 

[leandrahime]

I had always known I was different. I was always the sensitive one that everyone picked on. Then, when I was in HS, I was diagnosed with depression. years later, they added anxiety onto it. Now, abotu a year ago, I was rediagnosed as Bipolar Type II, which is very hard to treat. I take medication and go to therapy but it still only help somewhat. Last night I was crying so hard over this boy I like, and it was awful. I had to take my anti-anxiety meds just to be able to sleep. I'm in the process of going on disability because my illness prevents me from being able to hold down a job consistently. Trust me, you're not alone.

+ = &lt;333

 

[patchis-forest]

i go to speech in the middle of classes at school. my friend thought speech was for mentally ill ppl. :mimitchi: i'm mentally ill?! how sad.

 

[patchis-forest]

and my brother's autistic (a disability communicating with people). he's 13 and he was in 4th grade last year!