My parents don't trust my boyfriend...at all

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~TamaBloom12~

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OK, so I'll give you a little over-view of the last 2 months. In may I went to my swing dance lesson, there was this new guy there, after the lesson was over we started hanging out (you stay 3 hours after to to dance or whatever)....That's when I made my first mistake, I sat on his lap in front of my friends parents, who very quickly came over and told me to get off. We hung out the rest of the night, I got his number and he got mine. He called me the next day just to say hi.....That's when I realized my parents had a big "talk" with my friend's parents, who said they didn't trust or like him at all, and it would be best if I stayed away from him. But I kept talking to him and he started texting, which I wasn't allowed to do, and when he called I lied to my parents telling them it was one of my friends. After a while one of my friends whom I've known over half my life got really protective and told him to get away from me..But that's something else.

He asked me out last week and I'm not supposed to be dating until I'm 16 but I really like him, so I said yes.....I know that's alot but I just wanted to put that out there in case anybody had anything to say.

 
I think that maybe your family are being a little harsh here. Who says you're not allowed to date until you're 16??? You can legally get married at 16, for goodness sake! :blink: Maybe you should speak to them. Ask them to give you a chance, and to trust you with this. Explain to them that you really like him, and really don't want to let this slip away.

Hope I've helped! :D

 
I agree with SK.

It's probably also the way your parents were raised so they're gonna do the same thing as their parents and raise you in the same way.

 
I know a lot of parents can be over protective - it's an adult instinct that is difficult to control when you have kids you love and care about... but...

I can't help feeling that there is something more to this story that you are not sharing that might put him or you in a less than innocent light (and it might therefore affect the advice you get from other TamaTalkers) :(

You haven't given us much info on WHY your friends parents didn't like this guy, WHY your friend suddenly got "protective" and WHY your parents don't trust or like him at all.

Forgive me, but it seems really unlikely that your parents and your friend (who you have known over half your life) don't like him just because they saw you sit on his lap (or were told that you sat on his lap) after the swing dance lesson.

If this is really all innocent then why not ask your parents if you can invite him and a couple of other friends over for a few hours ?

I'm not talking about a party or anything, just a social evening to watch a DVD with some popcorn or something with a small group of your friends.

If that is not going to work... you just said the guy has started to attend swing dance lessons with you... so I am guessing that you are already seeing him in a social situation every week anyway - maybe you guys should take it a little more slowly and be satisfied with that for now - until your parents get to know him better?

 
Haha, parents. If your a girl, you know they are definately going to be overprotective.

They're probably afraid that he's gonna hurt you, or like, rape you or use you or something.

A lot of parents are like that- especailly dads.

Just get your parents to try and trust you, and try to get them to actually know the guy.

Prove he's a nice boy.

Maybe you should go out in secrecy first, and over the months (if you two are still together) bring him around your parents more.

so they all get to know each other.

but it's wrong for them to not like the guy, if they don't even know him.

oh well- parents will be parents

 
My parents told me no dating until I'm 16 as well... but my ex and I had been really close friends before he asked me out (we still are pretty close). My parents were cool with it; they really like Jon. I had just turned 13 & he was 14; and my parents trusted me to go to the movies and bowling with him every Friday night. They even flipped out when I broke up with him (it was just too awkward for me to be dating my best guy friend).

Okay, enough about me. I'm not allowed to date anyone that my parent's haven't met, which I guess is resonable. Have they met your guy friend? Not just in passing. Ask your parents if you can invite him over for a family dinner one evening. Then they can really get to know him and then decide if you can date him.

As for going on dates, ask if you can go on group dates with your friend's and him. With other people around, your parents should know that things aren't going to get out of hand sexually, especially if you are at a public bowling alley or movie theatre. Then they know drugs can't get involved either.

Good luck, hope I helped. :)

 
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In this situation, what I would do is politely tell them to GTFO of my personal life. Politely.

Do it discreetly or something. If you just went up and said "GTFO of my personal life", they would kill you ._.

Calmly explain to them that you like this boy, and you as a human have the right to hang out and date whoever you want, and that you want to resume your relationship. Try to prove to them he is worthy.

 
If I were you I would listen to your good friend and your parents, or you might end up regretting your decisions later. ;) And I have the same question as TamaMum. Why do they dislike him so much? O_O

Love,

CB

 
My parents trust my boyfriend completely, they just don't trust me. If they met him for dinner one night (and he was really polite) then maybe this could get better. You really should not lie to them about talking to him and that sort of thing any more because if they find out not only will they never like him but they will hold that against you forever. Just tell them that your friends parents got the wrong idea. And dont' do anything you are not supposed to do (like the texting) and just don't do anything that could make the situation worse.

 
OK, so I'll give you a little over-view of the last 2 months. In may I went to my swing dance lesson, there was this new guy there, after the lesson was over we started hanging out (you stay 3 hours after to to dance or whatever)....That's when I made my first mistake, I sat on his lap in front of my friends parents, who very quickly came over and told me to get off. We hung out the rest of the night, I got his number and he got mine. He called me the next day just to say hi.....That's when I realized my parents had a big "talk" with my friend's parents, who said they didn't trust or like him at all, and it would be best if I stayed away from him. But I kept talking to him and he started texting, which I wasn't allowed to do, and when he called I lied to my parents telling them it was one of my friends. After a while one of my friends whom I've known over half my life got really protective and told him to get away from me..But that's something else.
He asked me out last week and I'm not supposed to be dating until I'm 16 but I really like him, so I said yes.....I know that's alot but I just wanted to put that out there in case anybody had anything to say.
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Face it, you're not gonna marry him. Trust me it'll all end in tears. You love him now, but sooner or latter a hottie's gonna walk past and he'll dump you. Your parents are right to an extent. In fact, I'd recommend dating only after 18.

 
Face it, you're not gonna marry him. Trust me it'll all end in tears. You love him now, but sooner or latter a hottie's gonna walk past and he'll dump you. Your parents are right to an extent. In fact, I'd recommend dating only after 18.
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But... even though you're just dating and you're probably not going to get married, dating is fun. You get to know people on a much more personal level and you get yourself out there. Just sitting around waiting for your soal mate usually doesn't have great results. People need to know that you exist - and dating can give you that extra push.

I do agree to an extent. Don't get to intense about dating at a young age.

 
Yeah, but what's the point of wasting first kisses.

And people can know you exist by making friends. Especially with your own gender as well as the other gender. Then you get to know a lot of people. In general, dating is a limiter. If you're a boy for example, and you're dating, you wouldn't be able to get to know other girls than your girlfriend, because if you do, she'll probably get mad at you.

 
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