Story my friend and I are writing...

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GotchiGirl96

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Please note that this is what my friend wrote. I did not write any part of this yet. I'm working on my part. She wanted me to post this on TT to see what ppl think. I'm quite aware that she made a few grammatical errors and other stuff of the sort. But what she wants to know what you think of the actual story.

Morph the Beginning

Chapter 1

Wings

It all started in the beginning of eighth grade when Storm Cloud met Shadow Fire They weren’t the popular kids but they were beautiful. Storm has turquoise eyes that changed from blue to green according to her mood. She has really curly hair that is darker underneath the light blond hair on top. Shadow has green eyes that turns different shades when her mood changes. Shadow has golden brown hair.

2nd Week of school

“Hey Storm, what are you going to do after school today?”

“Nothing much, why’d you ask?”

“Oh I wondered if you could pick up your birthday present”

“Oh my god, Is it what I asked for?”

“No I don’t think so, I think it’s better than what you asked for!”

“Then what is it?” Storm asked plainly.

“Why, now that would ruin the surprise now wouldn’t it?” Shadow quickly stated.

“Good morning Class” Mrs. Ruche said

“Good Morning”, everyone said in that really drowsy annoying voice.

“Open up to page 117”

“Oh, Mrs.R I think you forgot that it was Storm’s birthday today”

the class bully Lillia said, knowing that I would get embarrassed by the teacher. Like always, she asked the class to sing happy birthday to me. I hate it soooo much! She does it to me every year! I so wish I could get her back for it. I remember the time when she gave me a crown with Storm is a Loser written all over it! And just last year she was pretending to be my friend and dragged me down to the councilor almost every other day (plus the fact that she makes fun of my name, Storm Cloud). I’ll never be her friend again, ever! So here I was standing in front of the class having happy birthday sung to me just like every other year I so wish I could stop her from doing this to me every year! Later that night I stopped at Shade’s House to “pick up my present” When I got there…

“Oh my god!”

I squealed with joy. Standing and licking my toes and white sandals is a PUPPY!!!!!! “How come you didn’t tell me that you got a puppy?”

and then Shade started laughing

“Obviously there is something I missed, what is it Shade?”

“The puppy isn’t for me, it’s for you!”

Shade was still laughing, and it was starting to get annoying!

“Come on Shade stop laughing it’s getting annoying”

“Oh sorry Storm”

“Shade have you been getting weird dreams lately?”

“No, Storm why?”

“Oh well I’ve been getting weird dreams lately”

“I hope they’re not scary, Storm?”

“Yea, well they’re not scary”

“So they’re just weird?”

“Yep”

“What are they about?”

“They’re about weird creatures with wings that look like us”

“Like Fairies?”

“Yea but they’re not, they are human”

“So humans with wings that aren’t fairies but yet they have wings? Storm have you gone nuts?”

“Shadow, it’s a dream, you know not the real, not the norm, it’s what our mind plays while it cleans up, or freshens up, whatever you want to say”

“Storm I’ll be right out straight you’ve gone NUTS. You hear me N . U . T . S . ,O.K.”

“Relax Shade Cool it!”

“O.k. I’m cool now Storm”

“You know, I should be getting home now Shade”

“I think that puppy just took a peewee on your shirt!”

“Oh my god I think your right!” I squealed

“O.k. I think you should go home now Storm”

“OK, I’ll head home to change my shirt, but I do thank you so much for the puppy I do love ****-a-poos so much. I think I’ll name her Sophie. I love her golden brown fur! Much better than what I wanted, a fish. Kind of dumb now since I have Sophie, right?”

“Yea, your right Storm, I’m getting tired now so good bye!”

And there she goes again slamming the door in my face. Once I was home I showed my parents my puppy and went to get into my jammies for bed. Finally! In my bed, I picked up my “Harry Potter” book and read threw 7 chapters. I do love to read it almost plays a movie in my head. Suddenly I yawned and realized how tired I was, and went to sleep. I had a different dream this time, but just as weird. I was growing wings, blue and ice colored ones. I know ice is a weird color but that’s the only description to describe it. They are simply beautiful, and then the pain came, it is “simply” indescribable. It was like being burned with ice like a fire burn, but with ice. I felt like screaming but there was no use; I was in a dream.

Chapter 2

Scars

That morning I got in the shower which made me feel better after last nights dream. My back ached like the dream was real. When I got dressed I realized my back felt weird as well as ached. I turned to look in the mirror and I saw two scars about seven inches long down my back. But the dream wasn’t real! I didn’t grow wings, but that would explain the ice burning though. I fed Sophie and went to school.

“Shadow! I need to show you something in the bathroom, its important “

“O.k.”

Shade followed me into the bathroom and I showed her the scars…

“Oh my god how did you get those scars?”

“You probably won’t believe me but I had a dream that I grew wings last night”

“Storm, again with the dreams, you probably should give the dream thing up”

“Shade it really did happen, it burned but not the fire burn it was like ice was burning me”

“Oh my god Storm, it didn’t happen, I don’t know where you got those scars but it definitely was not wings, o.k.!”

And there she goes right out of the conversation and the girls’ bathroom. I wish she would believe me. Then I wouldn’t believe I was a sicko. But I’m not a sicko, I do have the scars, I did feel the ice burning my back in two vertical lines. And the scars prove it.

That night I fell asleep with no problem. Nor did I have a single weird or pain full dream.

That morning I still had the scars but they weren’t as pain full. At about 10:37 A.M. Shadow called…

“Storm” She said while she was crying

“What happened?”

“Storm, your right, about the wings, about the ice burning about still being human with the wings” she said still whimpering

“WHAT HAPPENED?”

“I had the dream too”

“What color were your wings?”

“Red and like ice color”

“Mine were blue and ice”

“We cannot tell anyone about the wings or the scars”

“You are right about that Shade”

“I have to get ready for school Storm”

“Alright bye Shadow”

Then I hung up. That day I wore a beautiful sun dress and my favorite brown sandals, with tiny leather flowers on the top. My back was open, big mistake, the scars showed.

At school I said “Hi” to Lillia even though I hate her. I felt good that morning, and then I saw an extremely cute boy witched change me from feeling good to feeling extraordinary. In class that day Mrs. Ruche put that really cute boy’s seat right next to mine.

“Hello what’s your name?” he asked me

“Storm, what is yours?”

“Troy, it is nice to meet a beautiful girl like you Storm”

Then he kissed my hand. Right Behind me Lillia looked at me in shock.

“Troy” Mrs. Ruche said

“Yes Mrs.R?”

“Would you come and solve this mathematics problem, please?”

“Of course Mrs.R!”

After Troy was done Mrs.R called me up to solve a math problem. When I got out of my seat every one gasped. They saw the scars.

Chapter 3

Portals

At lunch everyone was coming up and asking me about the two long scars on my back. I couldn’t tell them what had happened. I tried to tell them that I fell off my bike onto some sharp rocks but they didn’t believe that. When I got home I finished my “Harry Potter” book and went to sleep. I had the dream that I grew wings again; the dream was still as painful as the last one. When I woke up I took a shower (it seems to help the pain) I looked at the scars and saw the beginnings of two wings growing on my back! I stood there shocked. When I got out of the shower I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t still in a dream. I wasn’t. I didn’t know what to wear; well I definitely was not going to wear a tank top or a dress. Finally I picked out my favorite shirt; it is purple with dragon flies going accosted the front of the shirt. When I went to school…

“Hey Storm” Troy said

“Hey Troy”

Then we started walking to our first class; Social Studies.

“Storm I’m going to tell you something I’ve never told anyone before.”

“What is it?”

“You know how you have those scars on your back”

“Yea, Why?”

“Well your growing wings Storm”

“Well obviously, considering the little bit of wing poking through my back!”

I pulled down the back of my shirt to show him

“Wait a minuet, Storm, You have BLUE WINGS?”

“Blue and Ice colored Yea Why? Besides how do you know this stuff about the wings?”

“Oh my God! I can’t believe I just met the Queen of the WIND”

“Huh? Troy what are you talking about?”

“Um, Well, It’s hard to explain”

“Hard to explain!”

“Yea, well, I can show you”

“Troy, like really how can you show me”

And I was just stopped in mid sentence, as he pulled out of his pocket an orb, of some kind of liquid out of his pocket.

“Troy what is THAT” I yelled at him

“A portal” he said, just as it expanded in mid air.

“A what?”

“A portal, jump in!”

“Um, NO”

“Um, YES” and he pushed me in it.

Chapter 4

The Meeting

As soon as I was pushed in, I was whirled into a complete darkness and then I was back on the ground. Back in the light, once again. There were people with wings like mine, except they were ice colored; the only color of their wings was ice. Every one, but mine and a girl my age with turquoise green wings with that same ice color, like mine. The one with the turquoise wing said,

“Hello Storm my name is Calypso; I control all of the earth’s waters.”

“Hello Calypso, um, Troy says I’m the Queen of the, um, what was it Troy?”

“It is the wind my Queen”

“Alright Troy thank you for informing me of the findings of the young and new Queen of the wind, Storm”

And then everyone cheered, it was kind of embarrassing.

“Troy why don’t you go dress your mate!” someone said from the crowd

“Um, Troy what are they talking about, you know WHAT she JUST said!”

“Well I was going to ask you out Storm, but then I realized who you were, the QUEEN of the wind”

“So where am I supposed to go, Troy are your supposed to dress me?”

“Well yes darling”

“Darling?”

“Um, yes were dating that means in this world that were mates”

“Troy, I barely know you!”

“Alright, look at my wings” he said while he took his shirt off

“How come yours look like mine, Troy?”

“Because were meant to be together, i’m the King of the wind”

“Oh, and I’m the, yes that’s right, because we both control the wind”

“So where is the changing room?”

“Follow me”

Next thing I knew was that I was flying through the air on my own! Then Troy landed.

“Honey” I said to troy “What am I going to wear?”

“You’ll see”

Now I was walking into a large changing room, it had clothing everywhere. Stacks and boxes were filled with clothing and piled everywhere! Troy picked out a gold, silver and sapphire box with a silk bow tied around it. Inside it was a Tank top. It’s top was shaped like a W and it had lace on the top and bottom of the tank top. The tank top has three little buttons going down the top and the buttons are very close together. For pants he pulled out boot cut Levis that had rips on the legs, Very in stile I thought.

“Troy?”

“Yes Storm”

“I like the Clothing you picked out”

“Thank you Storm”

“Are you done dressing me yet Troy?

“Just about, there, all done Storm”

He picked me up and carried me; no he flew me back to the meeting. When I got there everyone gasped, in sheer shock then Calypso gave me a long mirror, then I realized why everyone was so astonished, I was beautiful; in every feature, every curve of my slender body. Troy was still holding me so I asked him to put me down, so he did.

“So how am I supposed to control the wind?”

“My darling, did you think that I didn’t have a trainer for you?” Calypso Said

“Well yes!”

“Let in Sheila” Calypso shouted

“So who’s Sheila?”

“Oh Storm; Shelia is the one who controls the Earth”

“Oh.”

“Hello Storm” Said Shelia “Come with me”

“Um, O.K.”

Then Shelia took me into a wood hut, it was beautiful inside the big hut. The wood was painted wine color and had flower of all shapes, colors and sizes. There was a wooden wall in-between us and the other side of the room.

“Storm, to get to the other side of the room, where there is food, you have to lift up this wall of wood with your power and put it on the ground under our feet.”

“Um, Shelia I don’t think I can do that. I mean I’ll try though”

“Good, because if you don’t you get NO food!”

“I want to go home after this!”

“Fine do what I said and then you get to go home!”

Then I willed my power up to take away the big wooden divider, it worked!

“Nice job Storm” Shelia said

“Where is Troy?”

“Out side, you can come in now Troy!” Shelia said

“My girl, do you want to come home now?” Troy said

“Oh my God, yes!” I said

Troy swooped me up into his arms and opened up a portal, one more I was whisked into complete darkness again. Then back in the light and in my own world.

“Troy I barely know you, but I love you. Good bye!”

Now I was home and I decided to practice with my powers. So I made the wind blow and stop, blow and stop, on and on and on. That night when I went to sleep I had the dream I was growing wings again somehow it wasn’t painful, like the last two times I had the dream. When I woke up I looked in the mirror and my wings were full grown. Today was Saturday so I decided to go to Troy’s house. I wore a blue tank top and a necklace that has a horse shoe for a charm, and plaid shorts that had the blue color that is on my shirt.

“Hey! Troy look at my wings” I yelled at him

“OMG Storm, there amazing!”

“You really think so?”

“Yea! Hey are you ready to hop into a portal or do I still have to push you in?”

“Troy you don’t have to push me, but you can carry me!”

Troy picked me up and opened a portal into the world where reality isn’t real, just fantasy. When we got out of the portal there was a crowd waiting to greet us.

“Hey Troy, what did you get Storm for her welcoming gift?”

“Troy did you tell Storm the consequences of being a mate?”

“Storm do you need Ladies in Waiting”

“Did you get your mate a castile, Troy?”

“Storm you look BEAUTIFUL!!!”

Every one kept screaming those are the only lines I could understand from all the screaming!

“Troy, what does that mean about the consequences of being mates?” I asked

“Darling, did you not know, did you not read the signs, he didn’t tell you?” Calypso said

“What DID you not tell ME Troy” I screamed at him

“Storm I forgot, I, I, i’m sorry Storm I didn’t tell you that being mates and being who we are means that when we become mates it takes like five days, but your pregnant, Storm I’m so sorry, I should have told you.”

“TROY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I screamed so loud that probably every glass nearby must have broke

“Troy can YOU REVERSE THIS? Why DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?”

“Sweaty it won’t look like you’re pregnant; your body will look the same in the world of reality. It takes almost one year to give birth to the child but still, I’m soooo sorry!”

“Troy relax it’s ok as long as I don’t look like I’m pregnant I’m fine”

“So where’s the nearest hospital here!” Troy shouted

“Why?”

“Because we don’t want you to not know what is in your stomach, right?”

“Well, yea, because it’s probably going to kick and punch me right?”

“Yes Darling” then Troy picked me up and flew me to the hospital. When we got there and I had my stomach scanned. Turns out that I have twins but it’s too early to know what gender they are. Troy opened up a portal home. When I got home I tried to call my friend Shade to tell her what happened but she was online and she had dial up and I couldn’t reach her. So I tried to email her but she wouldn’t CHECK HER EMAIL. How annoying!

Chapter Five

I wasn’t expecting this

Finally school is over! I was going over to Troy’s house today to, ouch! I wonder why they keep biting me? It hurts a lot well at least the bite marks don’t show on my skin. I wonder how Shadow is doing? I mean Shade likes some guy called Fire Star his nickname is Fire. Troy knows him, Fire is one of us and so is Shadow Fire. When I went to Troy’s house the twins kicked me again, I tumbled over in pain. Troy rushed over to my side and helped me up.

“I’m so sorry Storm, for doing this to you!”

“Troy it wasn’t your fault, besides at least I don’t look like I’m pregnant and the bruises don’t show through to the skin on the outside”

Troy opened up the portal and I jumped in. Calypso was there to help me because as soon as I was in the fantasy world the weight came and I couldn’t see my feet considering my big soccer ball shaped belly. Troy carried me to the nearest hospital and I had my belly scanned and

“Oh MY GOD! I HAVE A BOY AND A GIRL!”

“That’s great darling” then troy opened a portal back home and put me to bed. Troy staid with me over night so “I didn’t hurt my self” I thought it was annoying that he kept watching over me. In the morning as soon as I got up troy left. I got dressed and decided to go to the mall. I went with Shadow Fire and it turns out she is also pregnant. She only has a little girl, but her mate is Moon Dust he is very handsome but he is always serious! I like Troy much better than Moon Dust. Troy is also bigger than Moon Dust. At the mall I bought Shade a baby present; a pink and white stripped crib (the money came from Troy because he gave me gold and I sold it for around a thousand dollars and put it on my credit card). Shadow was happy that I bought it for her so she got me an double ancient Egyptian theme bed set (for my unborn kids) I loved it because I love social studies! I also got (for myself) a couple of outfits. When I got home at like 3:55 P.M. Troy was waiting in my room for me, wondering where i’ve been. Troy took out a portal and cast it in the air. When we got to the world of fantasy I couldn’t walk at all because of the weight my legs collapsed. I couldn’t even fly to the hospital so troy and Calypso helped me walk to the hospital. The scanners couldn’t see what my twins were whether they were humans or what Troy and I are. I was to come back tomorrow for another scan. When I got up to go to the world of fantasy I realized that I was starving so I ate an apple and a granola bar before Troy got there. When we got and put the scanners on Troy gasped.

“What!” I screamed

“Um, our babies are not exactly what we expected them to be”

“What ARE THEY?”

“The boy is a dragon, and he takes the appearance of a Draco, a Dragon alpha male. And the female is a white jaguar with grayish spots”

“WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Darling it’s just unnatural”

“Unnatural that our kids are not what we are!”

“They were just born on level two, a level and portal ahead of us.”

“Oh, and I’m supposed to be happy that my kids are a level ahead! What does that mean anyway? Portals to different levels?”

“It means that every one is on a different level and more powerful than the other. In order to get to another level you have to do something heroic, like survive a war or save another morph”

“Um, what is morph?”

“That is the world we are in honey”

“Oh”

“Sweetie, um, it getting close to where our, I guess I should call them cubs, will start hurting and biting and kicking you so you will have to stay here in this world, ok?”

“But what about my mom and dad?”

“I’ll tell them that my parents invited you to come on a vacation with us for two weeks, or more”

“Um, do you think they’ll believe that?”

“Yes dear”

“Ok then”

That night I had trouble falling asleep so my nurses gave me a sleeping pill called something like Dreamosa but I don’t remember clearly because as soon as I took it I almost fell asleep after two minuets. The next morning one of my cubs bit the inside of my stomach, it hurt pretty bad. At around eight A.M. my nurses came in and started soothing me. I took a warm soothing bubble bath and I did the activity with the big blow up ball. When Troy came back they did a scan on my stomach again. Troy brought Sophie my dog with him, and all of my clothing, which didn’t fit because I’m now pregnant. Troy had a royal tailor come in and I picked out a bunch of nice comfortable dresses, which were easer to wear and fit my stomach better than my own cloths. My baby shower in morph was tomorrow at three-o-clock. That night I fell asleep fast with out the weird medicine. The next day I slept till two in the afternoon, I only had one hour till the baby shower. Troy dressed me for our cub’s first party. He dressed me in a white and purple sleeveless dress that fit my belly nicely. For shoes I wore white designer shoes with little patches of the purple plaid on my dress. At the party Calypso came up to me to congratulate me on our twins.

“Darling I’m so happy you have successfully carried your twins, but being nothing like you or your mate the birth should take half the year they are supposed to, to be born. And that is around now.” Calypso said

“Wow, that’s a surprise do you think that Troy or the doctors knew that, I mean they making me stay in this hospital for like two weeks?”

“Maybe, but for now why don’t you go see the lords ladies and other important people? Huh?”

“Ok”

“Hey, what’s your name sweetie?” I asked a little child around the age of ten

“My name is Running River but my last name is Amethyst because my parents are the lord and lady of that crystal”

“Oh, my name is Storm Cloud Wind I guess”

“O.M.G.! you are the Queen of the wind?”

“Yes I a, m, oh my God, I think my water broke!”

“HELP!!!!!!!!!” Running River said just as I fell down the ground

“Do you have a sister?”

“Yes, why? HELP!”

“Is she a fast run,” I was having trouble breathing “Runner?”

“Yes, she is right here should I go get her?”

“Ye, s!”

“Ok what should I tell her?”

“To run to Troy!”

“Yes ma’am”

“Quickly!”

“Ok!”

As soon as she reached her sister Rippled River, and told her to go tell Troy my water broke she was off and running almost faster than a car in our world can go .

“Ok, darling are you ok?”

“Nooooo!”

“I’ll carry you to the hospital, ok?”

“Yes and quickly!”

When I got there my cubs starting kicking franticly, and I knew they were struggling for air, but no matter how hard I pushed I couldn’t get them out, but I knew I had to. Finally the doctor said:

“Put her to sleep were going to do an operation to get them out.”

“No you are NOT putting ME to SLEEP! I waited to long to see my cubs and I’M going TO see THEM!”

“Ok, but we will be cutting you open and we don’t want you to feel the pain so give her the P.R.F.!” He shouted at the nearest nurse standing next to him.

“What is P.R.F?”

“Pain Reliving Formula”

“Well give it to me quick! Cause I’m IN PAIN!”

“Quick!” He shouted at the nurse

When she gave me the pain medication it turns out it caused me to sleep! The only thing I remember is that when I woke up Troy was there.

“Troy! Where are our cubs?” I screamed at him

”She is awake, bring in our cubs!”

“Oh my God! They’re adorable!”

“Troy I name the girl Victoria, and the boy Demetry”

“Ok, but I’ll pick their middle names”

“Fine!”

 
I didn't get to read the whole thing, but I liked it. xP

The only thing that bothered me is it that there is a lot of speech....not enough description, and thoughts. Too much talking. I like reading texts that doesn't have speaking every second. ;D

 
It's great, really good. Although the text is a bit confusing when you don't have stuff like "blah blah", said Storm Cloud. More 3rd person point of view could be used. The story is great, but it's just to confusing without much descpritions.

 

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