That Sounded Wrong.

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"Where's my money?"

"IT'S DOWN YOUR PANTS!"

"Don't try to fix that... You already messed up."

"D:"

I said ITS DOWN YOUR PANTS part. I meant to say "It's shoved up your *bang*!"

 
Most of mine are sex related, so I'll keep those out.

When I was working at Fred Meyer, I got home from work around 5pm on a weekend and my mom was in her pajamas on the couch.

I meant to say, 'So what did you do today?'

It came out, 'Did you even do anything today?'

She got mad because it's something my dad would have said XD

 
Everything. Anything I do or say comes out as a perverted sex joke.

The other day, me and my friends were sitting on the blocks at school and there were mini holes all around the blocks. I was holding a stick [dont ask] and was shoving the stick into the holes while we were talking. Only then I noticed how wrong that was. The stick going into the hole...

Then, saying the word ''ball'' is wrong too. And ''stick''. And ''bush''. And everything! And I have thislittle face that I draw that happens to have two eyes next to eachother and a long nose attatched to the eyes. I get told off for drawing it >.<

There. Everything else is way too bad to share here.

 
Oh yes, all the time...

I do it on purpose too XD

 
The other day, me and my friends were sitting on the blocks at school and there were mini holes all around the blocks. I was holding a stick [dont ask] and was shoving the stick into the holes while we were talking. Only then I noticed how wrong that was. The stick going into the hole...
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xD.

 
"I'm gonna go out with you." xDD

It was supposed to be "I'm going with you." ._.

 
OMG Yes, totally. Just use the word "it" in my classroom and everyone thinks the wrong way.

Here's a funny one: (my teacher was telling a boy named David to have a book conference)

David, come to the back table and let's do it.

 
Many, many times. ;D

A couple weeks back, I was telling my guy-friend how me and my friend were in the shower together.

The water got really hot because someone flushed the toliet, so we both backed away from the water. I ended up slipping, and grabbing my friend, causing her to fall.

We both ended up in a tangled mess on the bottom of the bathtub, and she was practically squishing me to death.

But I forgot to mention we were in our bathingsuits. o.o xD

 
Lool another:

My drink that was in my bag had in the morning so I was carrying my stuff so my hands were full. I was with my guy friend and I found a small hole in the bottom of my bag and asked him to put his finger in to see if it was still wet.. He refused so I put all my stuff on the floor between his legs (He was sitting down) and bent down to my bag, I sat down and shouted "JUST SHOVE IT IN" and it sounded soo wrong cos of the position we were in (He was sitting down I was sitting between his legs, not that close but y'know, facing him) and because our class is not exactly what you would call mature they all laughed at us t'was very embrassing <.<

And my teacher was talking and he said we do do that something like that and the class (including me) starting laughing saying "you said doodoo" Hehe and my teach was all "you know what I ment" Lol

 
Many, many times. ;D
A couple weeks back, I was telling my guy-friend how me and my friend were in the shower together.

The water got really hot because someone flushed the toliet, so we both backed away from the water. I ended up slipping, and grabbing my friend, causing her to fall.

We both ended up in a tangled mess on the bottom of the bathtub, and she was practically squishing me to death.

But I forgot to mention we were in our bathingsuits. o.o xD
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xD You are just so hilarious.

 
And my teacher was talking and he said we do do that something like that and the class (including me) starting laughing saying "you said doodoo" Hehe and my teach was all "you know what I ment" Lol
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That's a line from Hannah Montana. Buuusted.

Oh how do I know these things? XD

Oh, and there was this one time at my house, when my Mum was wearing a fluffy pink sweater thing, and she looked like the Duracell bunny. So I laughed and said, "Mum, you look like that bunny from Durex!" It's a condom make. My whole family just looked at me blankly. 'Twas extremely awkward indeed.

 
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^ That's happened to me before.

We were watching Family Guy. (We were all in the same room at once. I know, right? Mom, Dad, AND my little brother.) Peter made a comment about something being long and hard, and it was obvious what he was referring to. I started cracking up, and my mom and dad just looked at me. xD I was embarrassed.

 
That's a line from Hannah Montana. Buuusted.

Oh how do I know these things? XD
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Lol Yeah but he did say it xD It was my Hannah Montana watching friend that started the laughing then we just caught on and starting laughing too x3

 
^ Haha.

I was playing dodgeball for gym and had to put away the balls.

Someone in m,y class said: "Rachel! Two of the balls came ot of the sack."

x_o

 
on a school trip, we were on the bus, and one of my friends was accusing us out of the blue for things she wouldn't specify. she would just jump up and say 'you're guilty! i know you did it!' it was random. so she was doing this, and did it to this senior dude. she said :

"I know you did it! I saw you do it, I heard you do it and I tasted you doing it!!

we still laff about it 3yrs l8r ;)

 
I was watching some house hunter show with my dad on TV, and these people were discussing how much to pay for a condo, and they said something like "this condo is on the market for $_______" and so I was all "WHO WOULD PAY THAT MUCH FOR A CONDOM?"

Very, very awkward xP

 
my little bro said something that sounded wrong but he didn't notice:

bro: *playing a game with himself in the car*

me and friend: -silent-

bro: ohh yeaa thats right,, ohhhhh yeeeeea (chat over phone.....)

me and friend: -look at each other and burst out laughing-

also I think of everything wrong now. i am a perverted girl xD my science teacher is like "This is the end of the 50 yr PERIOD" and i will be like -stuffled laughter- or like my gym teacher will be like "get all the BALLS and put them away...."

also one time I was rhyming to myself so I was like bit, sit, hit, **** with everyone in our car and I was like -hand over mouth eyes open wide- because my mom hates swearing, but she didn't notice.

when i was wayyy younger we were playing Truth, dare ,double dare and I added "do it" and so we all started laughing 0_o hahahhaha

 
*sigh*

1. In gym, we were playing volleyball. Then the shower bell rang and our teacher yelled: "Put all the balls in the sack!!"

2. In gym, my teacher was trying to tell us something (But it was too loud with all the volleyballs), so she yelled "Everybody! Hold your balls!" HAHAHA

3. We were doing a project in band...

Makayla: Hey Kari, You wanna do it with me?

Me: Um...No thanks Makayla!

Both: *Burst out Laughing*

4. I was bored in art class one day, so I started drawing a picture of what my friend, Sam's, baby would look like if she married an octopus. I showed my friends, and Kim said "Sam did it with an octopus?!?!?!" Then we all nodded our heads.

5. One of my friends (in cooking class) asked me "What would a hot dog and and egg make??" I said "A baby" She didn't get it.

6. My teacher, in english, was giving us our spelling quiz. He was about to say "function" but he accidenlty stopped in the middle of it and said "fu"! Everyone was laughing, even Mr. Hunter!

7. In class, one day, I wispered to a friend that I saw a condom on the floor. She yelled "What's a CONDOM?!?!"

8. At lunch, i was bored. I asked my friendgirl if she would come to the BR with me. MY guy friend said "EW!"

9. There is this creepy boy named Steven. HE"S SO UGLY. And he likes to stalk my friend Danaleye. Well, one day, Steven was angry at her and gave her dirty looks. So my friend Beth, was like "Danaleye. Steven wants to do bad things to you!" And to freak her out, I wispered "No, he wants to do bad things WITH you."

10. There are these two weirdos named Tyler and Zerra. One day in band, heaven knows why, Zerra sat inbetween Tyler's legs (very close) and yelled "Push harder!!" and he started to jump (in his seat) up and down!!!!! Everyone was starring at them, and they didn't even know what was so wrong about that!!!

 
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