Who's the bad guy here?

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animelover22

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Okay, so me and like, my bff are having a major fight. But we don't know who the bad guy is in the picture. Can you help us out? If not, feel free to post your issues that are just like mine.

Okay, so one of my bff's birthdays was like over the weekend. For party favors, we all received a (camp rock :p ) diary and gel pens. So me and the birthday girl and the bff get in a huge argument over what we should watch (HSM3 vs Bolt). Bolt won. So before that they decided to play DDRU2 (birthday girl's gift). I tried to join, but then they switched to something else. Nobody would talk to me. So being the Miss Drama Mama I am (it's so true XP) I cried and hid in the very messy top bunk filled with pillows and toys. After my scene, the bff came up there and said that they were not writing anything about me in their diaries. I didn't trust them, so I hatched a plan. I'm always the last to fall asleep because I have sleeping problems. So I'd wait until they're both asleep and steal their diaries. They had lied to me. Two pages filled with 'I Hate Hannah' stories. They had lied to me. Now I wanted to get back at them. I wrote a message to my bff in her diary. I then checked my facebook wall. It had a message from the bff saying that it was all of my fault, and she found out the next day and whatnot.

So basically that's it. We just want to know who the bad guy is in the picture, and I thought maybe some of you TTers could help me. If you can't then go ahead and post your friendship problems.

 
You cried and had a drama fit at someone else's birthday party because you didn't get to see the film you wanted?

You crept down at night and read their diaries?

You wrote a message in your bff's diary to show that you'd seen it?

... who do you think is in the wrong?

 
Well, in one way Im on your side. But I do have to agree with TamaMum, causing a big scene and stealing their diaries was really messed up.

 

Your NOT the bad guy because: If they were your friends, they wouldnt stop talking to you because you got into a fight with another person. And if I thought someone was writing/talking about me, I would definitly want to see what they were writing/saying. And writting hate stories is so stupid. I would be mad if someone did that to me.

 

You ARE the bad guy because: I mean come on. Crying at someone else's birthday party? If they hurt your feelings that bad, you should of called someone to come get you instead of causing a scene. And part of being the bad guy is to continue something. If you did read it, you shouldnt of wrote something back. You should of just ignored it instead of making the issue worse.

 

Well, I say stay away from them. They don't seem like real friends. If they want to hurt you, they are not even worth your time.

 
TamaMum- You kind of make it sound like I'm the only one at fault... and I didn't cry because of the film incident, it was because they were excluding me from everything.

Noodle- That's....very true...

Note- The day after that day, my mom picked me and the birthday girl up to go buy clothes. She gets her capris that were like $40.00 or something. After that we talked a bit more, and now we're friends again. But I just had a bigger fight with the ex-bff because I was trying to get her to forgive me. Heather(the bff) said some really mean words which I think you shouldn't use when someone is trying to forgive you. I'm trying to clear the whole thing up now and get up to be bffs again...(pray for me XP)

 
Well, I kind of agree with TM. It was the girl's birthday, I don't think it matters if they were excluding you, you shouldn't have a mental breakdown and hide in a dark corner or whatever. Of course they were mad at you for that. And you shouldn't have stolen their diaries either. You only made stuff worse for yourself. You should have let it go and done your best to make things right in the mornin'.

For now, you just have to try and forget about the whole episode. Pretend it never happened, if you must. If everyone else forgives you, your best friend will give in too.

 
For now, you just have to try and forget about the whole episode. Pretend it never happened, if you must. If everyone else forgives you, your best friend will give in too.
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Exactly what I'm trying to do, thank you.

 
I always wanted to be named Hannah. :D

Anyway, I must say I have to agree with Feebee and TamaMum here. It was the girl's birthday party. At someone's birthday party, you let them do what they want and enjoy themselves. You don't have a meltdown to try and bring them down.

It's understandable that you were upset, but it was still inappropriate to act that way. And stealing diaries? Ouch, that's low. You should have never stooped to their level.

But, I'm second guessing how close of friends you are with this girl. If she wrote about how much she hates you, does that really make her that good of a friend?

Use this situation to help you make better decisions in the future. Things like this happen. When you get older, these kinds of situations don't pop up as often. That's something to look forward to.

 
I don't know why everyone is blaming you o_O Sure you overreacted, and it isn't nice to look at their diaries, but they sound like they deserve it. I would never exclude my friends at any time, or write mean things about them because they got upset at me for being a jerk.

 
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I agree with...um... everyone. o_O xD

Well, I guess it wasn't nice to read her diary. But, if I was a friend, I wouldn't talk about my BFF behind her back. That's just not cool, maaaaaan. (xD) AND she excluded you. That's not cool either, maaaaaaan. (xDDDDD)

 
I agree with Mametchi if you were in the same situation I'm pretty sure you would do the same thing.

 
I think the situation animelover22 has described shows that both sides were at fault.

It was not my intention to suggest that animelover22 was the only one at fault.

It was definitely my intention to show animelover22 what she did was wrong and to get her to think about her question "Who's the bad guy?".

I don't understand how anyone can think it is ok to behave badly if someone else did. That just brings you down to their level doesn't it?

If someone else is being mean or difficult, rise above it and ignore it.

I still think the things you describe that you did at the party were not right animelover22 and I am really sorry if that's not what you were hoping to hear, but I am glad you are being smart about the whole problem and trying to work it out with both friends :)

I hope you're successful and keep both friends.

 
Hmm, well I don't think it was the best idea to cause a scene at the birthday party (like most people have said already) because that doesn't leave a good impression on people and they are more likely to write mean stories about you in their diary.

But it was kind of mean of them to write "I hate you" stories in their diary. That's disrespectful to you and really rude and hurtful, but it is their diary, and diaries are supposed to be private, they are meant for expressing feelings so that they can be kept a secret, so whatever the girls wrote in the diary obviously wasn't meant to be told to you. so technically they weren't being mean to you, they were just venting their feelings in their private space.. they weren't actually being rude towards you, more like writing down their thoughts in a personal book.

Although I have to say it still wasn't very nice to write such bad things about you. It's a birthday party! and they're supposed to be fun, not a time to write rude stories behind people's back. so they are sort of the bad guys as well here.

... BUT, now that you've read their diaries, and you know how they feel about you, now it's time to change, or maybe apologize because you found out that they didn't like the way you behaved. ......curiosity killed the cat!! (I'm so glad I got to use that quote :wacko: )

.. just remember, it's not all your fault, so don't feel bad.

 
Thanks everyone for your awesome help! (Don't forget you can post your friendship problems here too.)

I just I forgot to mention a teeny little detail...They were sharing it with eachother, and once I was done with DDRU2 I noticed they were reading mine, so that was also part of the problem...How could I miss that DX

 
I think it was certainly rude of them to exclude you from the activities, but two wrongs don't make a right, stealing their diaries and looking through them, having a breakdown at someone's party, it doesn't make things a whole lot better. And Cinderpelt is right, if you actually doubt their honesty, and they say things behind your back, they may not be the best of friends.

 
Honestly, its kind of your fault. Don't argue with the birthday girl, it's her birthday. You can be the birthday girl when its your birthday

 
Ok. Well they are obviously wrong in excluding you but it was HER party and not yours. Imagine if she turned up at your birthday party demanding things to be my way and then after it not going the way I want have a spaz and make a scene. You would hate her immensly. And on top of that you read her diary. Sure she shouldn't write mean stuff about you but you don't have the right to invade her privacy.

You are both at fault. Tell her you accept some blame as long as she accepts that she was at fault too. If she won't accept that fact then maybe you just aren't mean't to be.

 
You're both at fault.

Them for leaving you out and writing rude things, you for throwing a tantrum and going through their things.

The smart thing to do would have been to leave. It may have looked bad, but it's a LOT better than having a fit.

 
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