you cant see the winds the trees make

[mametchi_luver]

i stuck my finger into the icy water and watched as it made rings

thinking of wind i heard it blow

and felt my whispy hair lift from my shoulders and flow

you cannot see the sounds of trees or the winds they make

but yet somehow you can feel its there

and you see the waves of a flowing lake but do not no how the winds can make the peace of the water shake

Tell me what you think

 

[mametchi_luver]

btw u can tell me u hate it i dont mind i just wanted to no

 

[+[ b r u t a l ]+]

I think it's simply beautiful.

Only thing I'd recommend is to have it run through a spell checker;

I stuck my finger into the icy water and watched as it made rings,

Thinking of wind as I heard it blow,

And felt my wispy hair lift from my shoulders and flow

You cannot see the sounds of trees or the winds they make;

But yet somehow you can feel it's there,

And you see the waves of a flowing lake but do not know how the winds can make,

The peace of the waters shake.

It looks more professional this way, and it'll be easier for the reader to understand.

/yesimsuchaperfectionist -shots-

 

[mametchi_luver]

i no grammer is not my thing but thanks thats my first poem it just came to mind today so i decided to post it on here

thanks for saying its beautiful

what would u rate it 1-10 10 being highest?

 

[mametchi_luver]

I stuck my finger into the icy water and watched as it made rings,

Thinking of wind I heard it blow,

And felt my wispy hair lift from my shoulders and flow

You cannot see the sounds of trees or the winds they make;

But yet somehow you can feel its there,

And you see the waves of a flowing lake but do not know how the winds can make,

The peace of the waters shake

The grammer improved poem

thank you [ b r u t a l] for the help

 

[+[ b r u t a l ]+]

I guess around a seven or eight.

Because I like descriptive things.

A lot.

EDIT; Anytime. c:

 

[mametchi_luver]

Awesome thanks.

did u think it was pretty descriptive?

 

[+[ b r u t a l ]+]

^ Yes I do.

Mainly because that's what I lack in my own poetry.

Or maybe because I simply wasn't cut out for it in the first place. xD

 

[mametchi_luver]

well i love poetry

Edgar allan poe was amazing and my favorite poet

 

[mametchi_luver]

love for trees

nature is a way to express,

the motions of the beautiful esque,

the wind can hurt,

the wind can heal,

Your mind foggs up,

its time to feel,

the oceans mist,

the sands power,

i dont no why i wrote this it dont work together i just kinda thought up the words like it took me about a minute