Killed by a what?

[cluck_cluck_chicken]

Ok. I'm writing a shortish story. Its called 'Killed by a what?'

Its about a girl, and her loyal pet. I shall tell no more or it'll give away the end.

This is a bit you won't understand but I think would make me want to hear the rest.

Alphi swooped & knocked her out cold. Tragically trampled by the Patch Heard soon after & then lying in a pool of blood, her eyes were blank & I was certain she was now dead. Forever she'll be known as 'The Girl Killed By A What?'

BTW. Alphi isn't your usual flying animal.

Comments?

 

[ilovekuchipa555]

ummm... what's that?!

 

[cluck_cluck_chicken]

It a bit to make you wonder what Alphi is exactly.

 

[Fire.Fly]

I'm so confused!

 

[Cullen]

Coments: Sounds good ^_^

Tips: Don't use '&' use 'and' also, it should be 'knocked' not knocker.

 

[tamawho!!??]

Sounds good I would read it!

 

[cluck_cluck_chicken]

Lotsa people are confused!

Its not mean't to make sense since you haven't read the start.

And,, I prefer to use & in stories not and. Just a weird habit.

I might type up a part from the start sometime soon to unconfuse you all.

 

[tamawho!!??]

I get it and if I''d just randomly read that I would proberly want to read the book.

 

[x.MusicalClouds]

This should be in the "Stuff We Read" section of NonTamaTalk...oh well...

And I think that you should write "and" instead of an ampersand (&amp.

I don't have much feedback, other than that was kind of sudden, and that I'm kind of clueless at this point. xDD Well, I'll keep watching this topic. I think it's a good start, but it's kind of vague right now.

 

[jade10103]

I'd wanna read it, no doubt. Ha, I think it would make a better movie though. xD I like movies about people and their pets, and I like romantics when it comes to books, like Twilight.