How do I make up with my "best friend"?

[Tamagirl_Desy]

Me and my ex best friend got into a huge fight the other day.

And I say "ex" because lately we've both kind of drifted apart, and she's changed alot.

She isn't the person she used to be.

In the fight, she asked me what was wrong. So I told her. Everything. Why I had been so sad lately, and why I wasnt acting like myself... that I'm depressed and I just don't know what to do. I thought she'd understand and just listen to me, comfort me... instead, she started swearing at me and saying I was being stupid and too emotional and a whole bunch of stuff like that. She said she "was glad we weren't close friends anymore". Her words hurt me so much, and I got even more upset than I was before.

I began crying and said that she wasnt the same person anymore, and started saying angry things I don't remember now.

Ever since then, we haven't talked at all.

She won't even look at me. I miss her... even if she did really hurt me emotionally.

We've been friends for almost 9 years, and now it's suddenly changed.

We got into many fights before, but its different this time.

I talked to her today, apoligizing and saying I was sorry for anything I said to hurt her, and that I just wanted to become friends again. All she did was yell at me some more, and say rude things. I wanted to cry but I just let it go and apoligized again, and asked if we could just forget it happened and move on.

All she said was "i don't know, just don't talk to me."

So what do I do? Was this my fault?

 

[kkoolbear101]

If she's going to act that way, then just "don't talk to her". There are two things that could happen

1. She'll realize that she doesn't want this to happen.

2. You both move on.

This could also just blow over. Teens at this age act this way, not being sure who they are. So just be positive and everything will be okay.

 

[booboo1]

I suggest to not make up with her at all. I understand that youve been friends for 9 years, but if shes being that rude to you, and has changed that much, then just forget it. I dont think its your fault either.

Maybe shes just under a lot of stress right now, and if thats the case, then give her some time and then try to talk to her again. But I think if you just keep talking to her over and over again she'll get even more mad.

Oh man im not good at giving adivce. >.<

 

[Cinderpelt]

It's not your fault and honestly, there is nothing you can do. You've tried apologizing and made an honest effort to make up with her. Now it's up to her to decide whether or not she wants to continue being friends. You can't control how other people feel and you can't change people.

And honestly, was she that great of a friend to begin with if she was angry with you for emotions that you can't control? She doesn't seem to have much sympathy and she really doesn't seem to care about your feelings. But maybe as you said, she's changed.

So basically give her some space. Some breathing room. And if she wants to come back and be friends, let her, because that's what friends do and she'll appreciate it in the future. But if she doesn't want to be friends anymore, she doesn't, and you can't force her to.

 

[GotchiGirl96]

I was in a similar situation this past year. My best friend and I got into this huge fight for about a month. We just kept yelling back and fourth things that we didn't like about one another and things that had been done to us that we felt was unfair but never made a big deal about before. This lasted for a while, and she swore we would never be friends again, and after a while she was the one who apologized to me. Now we're closer than ever.

You have to give her some space. We all have bad days, and she might just be upset about something completely unrelated to your fight and that's what set her off. I don't believe that if you've been best friends for nine years, that this is it. It most likely isn't. Just leave her be for now, and she'll probably come around eventually.

 

[TamaMum]

.... You have to give her some space. We all have bad days, and she might just be upset about something completely unrelated to your fight and that's what set her off. I don't believe that if you've been best friends for nine years, that this is it. It most likely isn't. Just leave her be for now, and she'll probably come around eventually.

I agree with this.

Don't forget - everyone is different.

She may need more time to calm down and think things over.

Just because you are ready to forgive and forget doesn't mean that she is also. Maybe she is still steaming about it and can't move on just yet.

 

[imnotellinu]

it might blow over, but if it doesnt, why should u care? she sounds like she has been absolutly horrid to u.. and u even tried apologizing to HER. shes the one who should be apologizing to u. she probably has changed. dont dwell on it. she doesnt deserve u.

 

[pyonchit]

my "best" friend once did something horrible to me, hurt my other best friend who I am immensely protective of, then acted as if I should apologize for not approving of her actions. Several months of the cold shoulder changed her mind, but you know what? I just didn't want to be friends anymore. I just didn't like her anymore and didn't want to deal with her anymore, because I realized she was just fake and ugly, inside and out. It's not a grudge, I simply realized that this person was not someone I wanted to be around.

I got new friends, and they treated me far better.

All I'm saying is things change, and you realize you might be better off branching off on your own and doing other things sometimes. Respecting someone's space is important, and if she doesn't want to be your friend (in the long term!) you should respect that.