I'm really upset

[.:Puma:.]

As some of you who I talk to alot would know, I have liked a guy (whose name shall remain unnamed) for just over a year.

Well, it really feels like ever since last October he has really changed, way too much

He has been hanging around the "OOH! LOOK AT ME! I'M SO TOUGH!" group if you know what I mean

Today we had some 'compusary PE' thing at the end of the day, and I saw him being pushed in a shopping trolley by one of his idiotic 'friends'. He was being pushed fairly fast, and they were going over mud and a bumpy track outside the school fence. That is NOT ONE THING like him

When I saw him, I almost burst into tears. I would never imagine him doing that, especially when his mum is a teacher at the school. He saw me with tears in my eyes. He looked at me in the innocent way he used to before all this stuff. Well it is hard to explain exactly how he looked at me, but he looked concerned.

I think his friends said something to try to stop him looking at me. I don't know why, but it feels like he is trying to change to fit in with his so called friends.

What hurts the most is that we used to be so close. We txted eachother, talked all the time in English and BEEP, and it was the closest I have ever felt to being in real love. I got closer to him than I ever have with any other guy.

I told my friend about it today and she really agrees. It almost like... well... he's kind of a stranger now. He has completely changed, too much for words.

I just don't know what to do. I have been fighting back tears for the last hour and a half. I am so upset and miserable

If anyone had any advice whatsoever, please tell me (though I don't want "Well you shouldn't be crushing on him if he's like that" or "Try to make him jealous" suggestions :worried: He's never been like this) Suggestions, support, anything. I really need it now.

 

[liongirl]

I remember going through a lot of that stuff around your age. People start to change so much, and it's hard to imagine them as any way other than you have always known them. They start to do all sorts of things that seem out of the norm to try to fit in. In my experience, talking to them about it is the best way to go about it. It is possible that this guy doesn't even realize he's doing things any different. I know I went through a stage like that. It seems really hard to believe that that is possible, but when people are greatly influenced by their peers they may not even notice a change within themselves. Honestly, my advice is just to try letting him know how you feel and the change you have seen in him. If you aren't comfortable talking face to face with him about it, try calling him or sending an email. I would not suggest having another friend talk to him about it for you, that quite often leads to misunderstandings and difficult situations. I hope the best for you, that this guy either goes back to the way he was or if he doesn't plan on changing that you are able to overcome your feelings for him and find someone who suits you better. Good luck! Feel free to PM me if you would like advice. I don't know everything, but I'm older than a lot of the people on here and I've been through quite a bit. I'm sure there are other members who likewise would be very comfortable with you PMing them if you are comfortable with it.

 

[.:Puma:.]

Thanks liongirl! I really appreciate it I've settled down a little now...

I'll talk to my friend more about it tomorrow. I'll see what she thinks I could do...

Yeah, I know. I need to talk to him about it, but it takes a lot of courage to do it.

 

[liongirl]

No problem! I know how many times I've been in situations like that, and how much I wished there were people around me to ask for advice. I'm more than willing to help out!

 

[TamaMum]

The only other thing I would add to the good advice above is to remember that the change in your friend's behaviour may not be permanent.

If he's a nice guy, maybe he's just having a bit of fun with friends who are more daring and he finds it exciting. It may also be a subconcious reaction against the fact that he feels he has to be well behaved because his mother is a teacher at the school and he wants to "fit in" more with kids who don't have that responsibility.

He sounds like he is smart enough to realise after a while that doing "tough" or "daring" stuff can sometimes be too dangerous or just plain wrong.

I hope things work out.

 

[.:Puma:.]

Thanks TamaMum. You're a real help as always

When I go to school today, I'll see if he is still... different. Hopefully he's just going through a stage and will go back to normal ^_^

 

[GotchiGirl96]

I'm not sure I understand this correctly.

You're mad at him because he was fooling around and pushing his friends?

Um, he's a boy. Boys are like that. You can't honestly be saying you're crying because he's fooling around.

Unless I'm missing something here. Do you think you could explain this a bit more?

 

[CrowFrost~]

GotchiGirl- What she is saying that, is he has been changing so much to 'fit in' with his friends that he has been ignoring her and getting further away from their close bond which is now falling apart. xD Described in 40 words or less! (37 xD)

Anyway, most guys do that, all you have to do is what I did (It really makes a difference, trust me..) and say "_____ just because you are hanging out with your 'friends and fitting in, you aren't being cool. I miss the old you, the one I knew who wasn't a self centered jerk who is trusting a bunch of losers." Exactly how I phrased it. Besides, yesterday this one kid was acting all cool in front of an older kid an dI wanlked up to him and as like "Burritoman.. no... you're not being cool. At all. " and walked away.

By the way... riding in those things are fun. xD

 

[.:Puma:.]

Yeah CrowFrost, thats what I meant I know where you are coming from and I know I have got to talk to him, but where? School? Cricket training? Cricket games? I really don't know.

Well at school yesterday he wasn't hanging around his group of friends as often as he has been doing. Of course he hanged out with them, but not as much.

Both our cricket teams train together, so yesterday at cricket training he was there. Still none of our usual silly conversations, but he was different to what he was at school. He gave me a few little grins, but not very often.