Teen Pregnancy.

[cluck_cluck_chicken]

I'm making this topic because I found out a girl in my year is 4 months pregnant.

She thought she was getting fat then 2 weeks ago found out. Today she got a scan and its a girl.

Shes keeping the child and her 17 year old BF has promised to stay around for his daughter and is taking on extra work to help her buy baby stuff.

I think its ok to keep the child if one can fund it and you have parent support [which she does] It would cruel to keep your child if your parents don't want anything to do with it and you'd face money troubles effecting its life negatively.

Whats your opinion and any stories?

 

[TamaMum]

Teen pregnancy.... my first opinion is that it should be strenuously avoided at all costs.

Anyone who has consentual sex and who doesn't want a baby should be using contraceptives. No excuses.

(I'm not talking about rape - that's not the same thing - and a completely different issue).

If you're old enough to be having sex then you're old enough to take responsibility for buying and using condoms (or finding out how to get alternative contraceptive advice from a qualified professional or health centre, etc.).

Having and raising even one child is a big commitment - at least 15-18 years worth (more in some cases ).

There's going to be plenty of time for you to do that when you are older and more able to cope - both financially and emotionally.

As you get older you have to take on more responsibility. It's a fact.

I think you should take the chance to enjoy life whilst you are young and can still rely on your parents to pay for the roof over your head and the food on the table, the power to run your laptop/Internet and the shoes on your feet, etc.

There's no point in climbing aboard the "all grown up" train before you have to

I've got strong opinions because I've already had friends who have kept their children and those who didn't. Did they have terrible lives? No. Would their lives have turned out better without an unplanned pregnancy? Yes.

This is just my opinion but I think teens should spend more time considering what to do if you got into a situation where you were expected to have unprotected sex - and how you could get yourself out of it (successfully).

 

[Ripcurl]

I'm making this topic because I found out a girl in my year is 4 months pregnant.
She thought she was getting fat then 2 weeks ago found out. Today she got a scan and its a girl.

Shes keeping the child and her 17 year old BF has promised to stay around for his daughter and is taking on extra work to help her buy baby stuff.

I think its ok to keep the child if one can fund it and you have parent support [which she does] It would cruel to keep your child if your parents don't want anything to do with it and you'd face money troubles effecting its life negatively.

Whats your opinion and any stories?

You might be suggesting adoption, and if you are I very much agree, but if not, are you suggesting that if the girl isn't financially supported in some way that it would justify an abortion? If that's the case, I, for one, completely disagree. You say that it would be cruel to keep the child if the parents don't want anything to do with it, but would that mean that it's perfectly fine to take it's life because it's not wanted? If you ask me, it's obvious that killing it would be far more cruel than keeping it. There are other alternatives other than abortion. Every child is wanted somewhere. (Again, this is just if you're hinting at abortion.)

And also, TamaMum, I got the impression from your response that you think that people just get to choose whether or not it's okay to have sex with one another and that it's completely fine for teenagers to have sex just as long as it's "safe" and consentual. In my opinion, just because you are old enough to have sex and have permission to so, doesn't mean it's okay for them to do it anyway. Kids shouldn't be having sex, period. That should be saved for their wedding night. The only way to avoid teen pregnancies and STDS is to remain abstinent.

As for your friend CCC, I applaud her for her choice in keeping her child and the father's commitment to helping support it. I hope her pregnancy goes smoothly and there are no complications.

Please forgive me if I sounded rude. I didn't mean anything disrespectfully to either of you. I just thought I'd share my opinions.

Regards,

RC

 

[TamaMum]

And also, TamaMum, I got the impression from your response that you think that people just get to choose whether or not it's okay to have sex with one another and that it's completely fine for teenagers to have sex just as long as it's "safe" and consentual. In my opinion, just because you are old enough to have sex and have permission to so, doesn't mean it's okay for them to do it anyway. Kids shouldn't be having sex, period. That should be saved for their wedding night. The only way to avoid teen pregnancies and STDS is to remain abstinent.

I am going to suggest that you got the wrong impression from my response and perhaps you need to read my response again.

Some teenagers (and people in their twenties and thirties) do have sex before their wedding night - whether you think it appropriate or not.

I did not say it was OK to do so.

I was simply being realistic. That's life. It happens.

(That's why the topic was made in the first place).

If they decide to have sex and there's no one around to stop them and they both want to - that's consentual.

They have made the choice and probably don't care if you think it is OK for them to do it or not.

If it's consentual sex then it should be "safe sex". That was my point.

Abstinence is not the only way to avoid teen pregnancy and STDs.

I agree that it is probably the most reliable and effective method, but you can avoid teen pregnancy and STDs using approved methods of contraception correctly.

Perhaps you also misunderstood my final point which was that teens should spend more time thinking about how to avoid being pressurised into sex rather than how they would cope or what they would do if they became pregnant.

I am going to suggest that there is always a different perspective to consider - because everyone is different in this world.

If you accept just one viewpoint on teenage sex (or any keynote subject) I'm going to suggest that you've only heard part of the story and it's possible you may have been mislead or misunderstood information.

If you close your mind to other viewpoints, you may miss out on the opportunity to learn more and make an informed judgement based on all the facts.

I realise that you were only stating your opinion - just as I was stating mine.

I understand your side of the "no teen pregnancy" argument. I was not convinced that you fully understood my viewpoint since you got the wrong impression from my response.

I hope it's clearer now

 

[barky]

Personally, I don't actually think it's right to have a child when you are still a teen. Meaning no disrespect of course, but I think teens should try to save their virginity.

Also, I'm so glad that the father has decided to stay with your friend. It shows real love and loyalty I have once had a discussion with my friends about this, and we all agreed you would be lucky for the father to stay with you and help you through the time.

I understand, however, that sometimes temptation or pressure it too much for a young person. Perhaps they did use condoms but condoms are not 100% guarenteed to stop falling pregnant.

I wish my luck to your friend and her child and her boyfriend (will they ever get married? :S)!

Best Wishes,

barky

 

[Band Geek]

Personally I don't agree with teenage pregnancy.

I mean, if a girl was raped, and became pregnant, then I would understand.

BUT: If she just wanted sex, or was drunk to the extent that she passed out, then.. I don't think it's agreeable. Now: Do not get me wrong, I understand we make mistakes in our lives. But NOBODY should get drunk to the point that it makes you pass out! Not cool! And yes, I know that all protection isn't 100%, but you should still make all attemps to use condoms & birth control. But then again, teens should save their virginity.

Anyway, it depends what situation she is in. If she's okay with everything: then I would say adoption. [i don't want to say abortion, because many people put it as 'murder'..]Or keep it, which I have a doubt in my mind a teenager could keep a baby. No offence. :\ [Teenagers want to have fun, not be stuck like glue to their house and taking care of a baby. And imagine that human crying all the time, yes, I know I cried as a baby, but for a teenager, it'd be annoying.]

BUT, if not: then she could give it up for adoption. Because I think it's selfish to use your parents/grandparents/etc,. to take care of your baby. Your baby, your responsiblity, not ANYBODY elses.

 

[Ripcurl]

I am going to suggest that you got the wrong impression from my response and perhaps you need to read my response again.
Some teenagers (and people in their twenties and thirties) do have sex before their wedding night - whether you think it appropriate or not. 

I did not say it was OK to do so. 

I was simply being realistic.  That's life.  It happens.

(That's why the topic was made in the first place).

If they decide to have sex and there's no one around to stop them and they both want to - that's consentual. 

They have made the choice and probably don't care if you think it is OK for them to do it or not.

If it's consentual sex then it should be "safe sex".  That was my point.

Abstinence is not the only way to avoid teen pregnancy and STDs.

I agree that it is probably the most reliable and effective method, but you can avoid teen pregnancy and STDs using approved methods of contraception correctly.

Perhaps you also misunderstood my final point which was that teens should spend more time thinking about how to avoid being pressurised into sex rather than how they would cope or what they would do if they became pregnant.

I am going to suggest that there is always a different perspective to consider - because everyone is different in this world.

If you accept just one viewpoint on teenage sex (or any keynote subject) I'm going to suggest that you've only heard part of the story and it's possible you may have been mislead or misunderstood information. 

If you close your mind to other viewpoints, you may miss out on the opportunity to learn more and make an informed judgement based on all the facts.

I realise that you were only stating your opinion - just as I was stating mine.

I understand your side of the "no teen pregnancy" argument.  I was not convinced that you fully understood my viewpoint since you got the wrong impression from my response.

I hope it's clearer now

Tamamum,

I agree that I probably did get the wrong impression from what you said, and I did have that in mind when I responded to you, which is why I stated that that was the impression that I got from you. All the same, I do apologize for misreading your statement.

I also agree that, yes, even though I don't think it appropriate, many people do have sex outside of marriage. It does happen, and that's what I think is the problem.

Yes, there are many viewpoints to consider, and it's not at all that I've closed my mind on them. It's because I've considered all and/or most of the other viewpoints out there that I decided which one I agreed with, based on the facts.

Respectfully,

RC

 

[cluck_cluck_chicken]

Well, its actually illegal.

In our country the boyfriend has illegally 'raped' her even though it was consentual if hes over 16 and shes not its rape.

The stupid thing here is if your both underage its legal. I could legally have sex with anyone 15 or under. But I won't because i'm self respecting and don't want to deal with kids/STD's/losing it to someone who probably wouldn't stick around for long.

And also it doesn't help shes into underage drinking and drugs.

I don't think babies should have babies.

 

[redtama]

Well, its actually illegal.In our country the boyfriend has illegally 'raped' her even though it was consentual if hes over 16 and shes not its rape.

The stupid thing here is if your both underage its legal. I could legally have sex with anyone 15 or under. But I won't because i'm self respecting and don't want to deal with kids/STD's/losing it to someone who probably wouldn't stick around for long.

And also it doesn't help shes into underage drinking and drugs.

I don't think babies should have babies.

Rape is unwilling sex. But yes, your in a different country than me, so your country has different customs.

But I don't think a 17 year old would waste their time taking care of a baby, and again, no offence. As I said, teenagers want to have fun in life.

I agree with the things I bolded. :]

 

[Cinderpelt]

It's simple. If you're not willing to face the consequences, don't have sex.

Actually, in America, it's illegal for someone over the age of 18 to have a sex with a minor, even with the minor's consent. I'm not sure if it's the equivalent to rape, but it still isnt' legal.

I actually know many, many girls in my grade that are pregnant, let alone the whole school. (I'm a freshman - Ages 14 - 15.)

I actually have a close friend who got pregnant in 7th grade - meaning she was 12 - and had an abortion. I'm sure that it must have been a terrible thing to go through.

What is the WORST though, in my opinion, is carrying out your own abortion. I know about... I'd say three or four people who have gotten pregnant and wanted to give up the baby. Instead of seeing a clinic or a proffessional, they literally beat themselves (Or get someone else to beat them) so they baby dies. That to me, is the worst.

But seriously, it's not that hard. If you're not ready for the consequences, don't do it.

 

[Jamie__Rox]

I am agains it, because:

-unless a teenager can affordto raise a baby (which is rare) the baby will live a poor, sad life

-then the teenager would either have to quit school, or go to school and the baby be neglected (unless there is a grandmother or something, but I'd rather be raised by my parents)

-they are only teenagers, they aren't as knowledgable a adults who can raise a baby properly

-it's a waste of your life, you are only a teenager and already you are skipping to an adult so soon

...I don't hae any stories, but one girl that skates on my synchro team was born when her mom was 15

 

[JAM]

teen pregnancy is just sad I think in most cases.

I baby is human too and they need to be loved and cared for properly, and deserve to have parents that can proplerly take care of him or her.

when I was in sixth grade there was a girl in my class (she was 2 years older than every one else) and she became pregnat. My principal had to get all of the sixth grade girls together and talk to us about it, and she didn't come back to school until seventh grade and she was very, very pregnat then.

 

[~Red~Rose~]

I think that it depends on the situation the soon-to-be parents are in. If their families will support them and the baby will recieve a lot of love and care, then that's okay. I'm not saying that all teens with support should have a baby, but it is better then facing abortion.

But, as many people have said above, if you can't deal with the consequences, then don't. If you're not mature enough to use protection, then you can't be mature enough to cope with a baby

 

[cluck_cluck_chicken]

I am agains it, because:
-unless a teenager can affordto raise a baby (which is rare) the baby will live a poor, sad life

-then the teenager would either have to quit school, or go to school and the baby be neglected (unless there is a grandmother or something, but I'd rather be raised by my parents)

-they are only teenagers, they aren't as knowledgable a adults who can raise a baby properly

-it's a waste of your life, you are only a teenager and already you are skipping to an adult so soon

...I don't hae any stories, but one girl that skates on my synchro team was born when her mom was 15

Yes. I believe her mum [babies grandmother] is gonna legally adopt until she is old enough and has enough money to support a child. But imagine people asking how old your mum is and being too ashamed to admit that your mum is only 14 years older than you.

As for your story. Thats not really a shock to me. My nana got pregnant at 14 [remember back then this was almost unheard of and so badly frowned upon she ditched school and moved 300 kilometres away] and had to adopt it out. And was only 18 when she had my mum. Now shes really anti-boy because she dosn't want me or Jordan in the same situation as her.

 

[tamagotchicheerleader]

One of my BFFs was born from a 16 year old. She (her mom)then haf one at 20. I still think shes a little 2 young but her mom( my friends grandmother) takes care of them. NOTE: they all live together though

 

[huntr rocks]

I don't belive in teen pregnacy. My cousin was fifteen when she had her first child. Her abusive boy friend left her. I year later she was pregnant again; same dad. Two years later she met a different guy. She was AGAIN pregnant. She is twenty five years old with SIX children. Two from one dad. The rest from anoughter. Two years ago she got married to that guy. He's a good dad. She is on felfare, lives in a tiny house, and needs money from family members to stay alive. Don't get pregnant when you're a teen. You MUST remember, you have your WHOLE life to live. I doubt that my cousin is much happy with her life. Her kids get sick almost every week due to living conditions. Help ypurself and just wait.

 

[Band Geek]

I don't belive in teen pregnacy. My cousin was fifteen when she had her first child. Her abusive boy friend left her. I year later she was pregnant again; same dad. Two years later she met a different guy. She was AGAIN pregnant. She is twenty five years old with SIX children. Two from one dad. The rest from anoughter. Two years ago she got married to that guy. He's a good dad. She is on felfare, lives in a tiny house, and needs money from family members to stay alive. Don't get pregnant when you're a teen. You MUST remember, you have your WHOLE life to live. I doubt that my cousin is much happy with her life. Her kids get sick almost every week due to living conditions. Help ypurself and just wait.

Sorry for your cousin.

But you still shouldn't get pregnant as a teen, it's like babies having babies. ._.

 

[Mamitchi465]

I agree with the "babies having babies" quote. To me, I really dont feel bad for teens who end up pregnant so young because they know there is a chance they can get pregnant, unless its rape but that is a way different topic. People can do whatever they want. :/

 

[Band Geek]

I agree with the "babies having babies" quote. To me, I really dont feel bad for teens who end up pregnant so young because they know there is a chance they can get pregnant, unless its rape but that is a way different topic. People can do whatever they want. :/

Agreed.

 

[.:FeeBumbleBee:.]

Well, first, I'll start off with my ideas on teen sex. I think that it's okay to do it, if you know you are ready, and you limit it to the guy/girl you know you love. I think that, because, obviously, the country's abstinence programs are pretty much useless. Instead of shoving crap down our throats and practically screaming at us to rebel, maybe they should take a different approach, and try to educate us on how to do it safely. I'm talking about condoms, and birth control. It should be discouraged, but they still need to tell us that if we're gonna get screwed, we need to do it safely. I personally won't have sex till I think I'm ready to handle the worst possibilities, and even then I'll wear a condom and make sure none of us have STDs before.

Now for pregnancy. I feel absolutely no sympathy towards pregnant teens. That is, unless they were raped or had not been properly educated on the consequences. I think that you shouldn't have sex unless you are ready to accept the worse senario. If you went along and did it anyway, then it's your fault.

I also might feel sympathy if it was the result of a broke condom. Even then, I'd just say either abort or adopt.